Crave | nomin

十七

Jaemin was turning 18 in almost a week now, he was growing more and more anxious as the days went by. Jeno had started to notice and tried talking to him about it but the younger wouldn't budge, he left him alone about it but he was still worried.

Jaemin was afraid, all he wanted was for jeno to cuddle and kiss him but at the same time he didn't want any of that. He was confused and his mind was a mess, he was lacking sleep and cried from stress every night leading up to his birthday. Jaemin had given up on his confident and cocky personality, he was sad and stressed now. He wore baggy hoodies and sweats to school everyday as well as messy hair and dark eye bags to go with it.

The honey haired boy groggily got up from his bed and got dressed, brushing his teeth and making his way downstairs. For some reason today he really missed jeno, like really missed jeno. Before he even left his room he started crying, he wanted jeno with him and he wanted the boy to hug him forever.

Tears streamed down his face as he walked out of his door, bumping into something on the way out. He started to cry more when a pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him close.

"Nana baby, why are you crying?" Jeno cooed and rocked the two back and forth slowly. "I-I miss y-you s-so much" jaemin cried harder and clung onto the older tighter and buried his face in the boys neck.

"I miss you too, I love you remember" jeno whispered and caressed the younger's head softly. "I love you too" jaemin confessed and calmed down a bit at jeno's comforting words and warm embrace.

"Do you wanna talk about what's wrong? You've been pretty down lately" jeno said quietly and jaemin shook his head no. "C-can we talk about it later please" jaemin whimpered and jeno felt like his heart was breaking from his soulmates sadness.

Jeno lead the boy back to his room and laid him down on the bed before laying down next to him and pulling the younger into his chest. "Go back to sleep baby" jeno cooed and lulled jaemin back to sleep. He was worried for his soulmate and it was breaking his heart bit by bit but he couldn't do anything. The whole reason he was at the boys house was to check on him and make sure he was okay, even if the boy pushed him away.

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Renjun was feeling more and more guilty about ignoring Chenle, he loved him but he was too scared to tell him the truth. He was positive that jaemin's name was inked into his skin and he was positive that he didn't want to love the younger boy but something was telling him he should.

He never wanted to hurt chenle but here he is stressing over two different boys when he should be worrying about keeping and loving his boyfriend instead. He decided that he was going to pretend jaemin's name was never on his arm for as long as he could, he wanted chenle back and the only way to act like he was okay was to pretend nothing was wrong.

He glanced at jaemin's name one last time before pulling on a light jacket and calling chenle to apologize. He knew it was probably a bad decision but he really hated feeling guilty and he hated being away from chenle, even if he needed to lie just a little bit about what was wrong.

Renjun had called and texted chenle several times, the boy just wouldn't answer and he thought he was going to break right then and there. His mental state wasn't very healthy and this wasn't helping anything, he knew chenle wouldn't take him back right away but he thought the boy would at least answer him even if it was something small.

After a half hour of calling the younger boy, renjun had given up. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he pulled his hoodie up over his head, crawling into a ball on his bed and crying into his blankets and pillow. He was way too stressed and emotional to make rash decisions but he did anyways, he decided that instead of ignoring his feelings why doesn't he just tackle them straight on? He'd probably regret that later on.

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Chenle knew renjun was trying to get a hold of him, he knew the older was guilty and missed him but chenle didn't really miss him back. Spending all of his time with Jisung had made him realize how much he cared for the younger boy, sure he felt heartache every now and then but for the most part he felt happy and loved around Jisung.

He didn't want to deal with renjun's lies right now, and he didn't want to cry and feel like he meant nothing. He wanted to be happy for as long as he could and Jisung was the key to all of it.

He checked his phone one last time before muting the older Chinese boys number and putting his phone on silent, turning back to Jisung and cuddling up against his chest.

I swear the birthday chapter will be soon and the updates will be more exciting!!

I hope you guys enjoyed, I'm sorry the chapters have been boring, short, and depressing lately but it's all I can write for now :((

I love you guys!!

-j