The One I See

Chapter 23

ALISHA

Maybe I was...stupid.

Maybe that's the right thing to describe this whole situation of us. I never thought at this young age, that my life would be so confusing when in fact, at this age my focus is supposedly be just on myself.

I cried on my knees while staring at the water flowing below..

Yeah right, what's that?

Nang marating na namin ang room, tanging ang nangyari kanina ang naiisip ko. Okay fine, nagmamagandang loob lang naman ang tao and I am exaggerating things. How stupid I am!

"What happened?"

Umiling ako at dumiretso sa upuan ko. Nakasunod lang silang dalawa sa'kin.

"Alisha, I know. Everything went fast and me either can't almost accept what's happening today. Pero Aly, give yourself a break. Don't push the person away-"

"I am not pushing him away, Megan. I am setting a limit for him to know na may boyfriend ako at wag siyang lumandi sa taong may boyfriend. I am loyal to Blake even I know how fuck up the situation today!"

"I know! We know because you're in a serious relationship-"

"That's it! I am in a serious relationship with Blake and I am just securing his trust to me. Ayaw kong magiba 'yon, Megan. And that Nakihiro-"

"Nakihiro is a threat? A threat to your trust because it may betray you soon? I know, because he isn't hard to love."

Nangilid ang kanyang mga luha na siyang ikinagulat ko

"Do you know how hard to see him yearning and following to you kahit alam niyang wala siyang pag-asa? I want us to be like that too. Gusto kong habulin siya kahit alam kong may iba siyang gusto. Because I thought he would learn how to love me too. Pero bulag siya- Bulag siya sa lahat kaya hindi niya ako binibigyan ng oportunidad. You are damn lucky to have someone I love the most-"

"So you're saying that I should pay attention to Nakihiro just because you love him and he loves me too? We are talking about relationship here, Megan! I am not into pity or luck or what the bullshit it is! A threat? Damn, that was a lame excuse! Mahal ko Blake at hindi ko alam kung paano ko pa siya ipagpapalit. Even to that Nakihiro!"

She stare at me before she nods. "I am just hoping you won't regret pushing someone who only wants to be with you."

She left my chair and went to her area. My classmates are talking about us. I don't care anymore. Napatingin ako sa labas at pinagmasdan ang mga dahon na sinasayaw ng hangin.

The exam went smooth and I am thankful that I was still able to focus. After that exams, we immediately went home. Trey fetch us too. Hindi ako nagsasalita buong byahe at ganoon na rin si Megan. Naiintindihan naman 'yon ni Shau at siya nalang ang kumakausap kay Trey para hindi mahalata ang tensyon namin ni Meg.

Pagkarating ng apartment ay dumeretso ako nang kwarto para magstudy. We agreed that we will order food for tonight dahil magsstudy kami buong gabi.

After we ate, I took a break and opened my phone. It's already 8 pm and I am sure, at this hour, it is morning in America.

I search for Blake's name and try to call him. Puro ring lang iyon hanggang sa matapos kaya nagsend nalang ako ng voice message.

I told him about what happened throughout the day, without mentioning about Nakihiro. I also scanned the chats that I sent to him. That's many. Everyday I sent him messages. Para kapag makita niya 'yon, he will be happy atleast.