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Chapter 17

Barry's POV

"Hey mum," I say, smiling softly at her as she walks into my room. She swallows hard and gives me a weak smile in return. I sit up, immediately knowing that something is wrong.

"Barry-"

"What happened?" I demand, horrible scenarios rushing through my mind.

"Please don't blame yourself," mum continues, making the pit in my stomach grow even more, "It's not your fault." I wait quietly. "Violet is pregnant."

"Why would I th- no," I choke out after seeing her expression. Mum catches my eye and a look of understanding passes between us. I want to punch a wall. "Tyler raped her?"

"It wasn't Tyler," she explains, "Vi said that she went to Tyler's house to hang out, but he was having a party and was wasted. She said that he told some random guy that he could have her for a while. Barry, she doesn't want you to blame yourself."

"But I should've been there for her," I protest, feeling defeated, "I'm her older brother, mum. I've always been there for her. I've always protected and helped her. If only I wasn't so fucked up. Then I would've been there for her and not here." I wait for mum to yell at me. She doesn't. She just starts to cry. I panic, thinking this is my fault. "I'm sorry mum! Please don't cry. I didn't mean it."

"I'm such a bad mum," she chokes out, her face hiding behind her hands, "I'm terrible."

"No you're not," I promise her, wrapping my unbroken arm around her shoulders, "You're the best mum ever."

"No I'm not," she protests, "You were going through so much shit, and I didn't notice. I just made it worse. Now Violet's going through this, and she's so hurt, but I don't know how to help her, and it's killing me. I don't know how to help you two when you're in so much pain, and I hate it. I hate seeing you guys even slightly upset." I sit quietly, shocked by her confession. I hadn't ever thought about it from her view.

"You're still the best mum ever," I comfort, "Nobody gets anything completely perfect the first time. But hey, I'm in here because of you, and I'm getting better. Violet is gonna be fine, because you and dad, and me when I can leave, are gonna be there to help her. Just because you fuck up sometimes doesn't make you a bad mum."

"Do you mean that?" She questions, wiping her eyes. I nod. Mum smiles and brushes her hair behind her ears. She hugs me tightly. "I did get one thing perfect on the first try, by the way. You. And Violet was perfect too."

"Is she gonna keep the baby?" I inquire, still hugging mum.

"She hasn't decided yet. She was trying to figure out what option would give the tour the least amount of negative press, but we told her to not think about that when making a decision. She's scared she's gonna make the wrong one and regret it later on."

"That sounds like Violet." She nods. We both fall into silence, unsure of how to change the subject.