BTS LOVE YOURSELF - THE NOTES (ENGLISH TRANSLATION)

'tear' Jimin's Notes °19 May Year 22°

Year 22
19 May

I had no choice but to go back to the arboretum. I had to stop pretending that I didn't remember what had happened there.

Hiding out in the hospital.
Having seizures.
I had to stop.

To stop I'd have to go back to that place.
My heart was set on going back.
But every time I went I never had the strength to step onto the bus.

But today was the day.
I was finally going back.

-

Yoongi dropped down into the seat next to me on the bus.
I'd already stood at the bus stop, watching three buses stop and leave, before finally climbing on.

"Why did you come?" I asked, my head bowed.
I tapped my shoe against the ground.

"I had nothing else to do. Was bored 'supose," he shrugged. "Hey. Why are you sitting like that, looking so sorry for yourself?"

I had no courage.
I wanted to be okay.
I wanted to pretend like everything was okay.
I wanted to pretend I knew something now.
I wanted to pretend that I could deal with such heavy things now.

But I was afraid.
I was afraid of what I'd run into.
Whether I'd be able to cope with it.
Whether I'd have another seizure or not.

I was afraid of all this,
and I couldn't do anything about it.

Yoongi Hyung looked as if he didn't have a care in the world.
As we sat next to each other for the whole bus ride, he commented on the weather and other small things, attempting to strike up a conversation with more substance.

The weather was really good today.
I was too anxious to notice it before Yoongi Hyung had mentioned it.

The Sky was so blue.
A warm breeze accompanied the sight of the arboretum's entrance.

The bus came to a stop and the door opened and the driver looked at me expectantly.

Impulsively I asked, "Hyung, can you come with me?"

Isn't this getting interesting...