BL One Shots & Imagines

Take Me Away

"Take me Away"
- Forth × Beam
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"What does Forth even see in him?"

"Forth deserves someone better than him!"

"Seriously, couldn't he have found someone better?"

"Why would Forth be with a fatass like him?"

"Why would he even chose to be with another man?"

"How much do you think he's getting payed to date Beam?"

×××

I silently cried, alone, I didn't want Forth to see me like this. To him I was a strong man, I had reliable friends and I had a stone face of another dimension. I honestly had to put up a mask so he wouldn't see how fragile I really was.

I don't want to care about what they think about me, about us. But maybe, just maybe they're right.

I'm honestly starting to get enough of it all. It's beginning to suffocate me, it's starting to become too much for me to handle. God knows how many of these comments I've been getting lately, but this was the final straw. All the comments about Forth the popular engineering star and now head hazer getting paid to be with me. A regular medical student, yeah maybe not that regular I'm a part of "the crazy med gang" for å reason I guess...

×××

I didn't think much about what I was doing, and before I even knew it myself I had walked out of my dorm, without an umbrella which by the way was a bad choice because it was raining like hell outside... But I didn't really care I just needed to get away, can't someone take me away? Just please take me away.. I can't take this pain any longer.

I walked, and I didn't stop until I reached the Memorial Bridge, looking down at the Chao Phraya River I was thinking about how easy it would be to just get onto the railing and jump.

Yeah, maybe Pha and Kit would miss me and probably N'Yo and N'Ming as well but they're probably the only ones who will... Forth... Ahhh Forth will eventually get over me... Just the thought of leaving the man I love makes my heart ache but I'm sure he doesn't feel like that. I'm sure that they were telling the truth.

And the best time to do it would be now, right? While Forth is on the oil rig... He's not coming back until the end of the month and that's a week and a half away... He won't even know until it's too late... My mom... She probably doesn't care enough to do anything about it anyway...

×××

It feels like the right thing to do, but my heart tells me to hold back... That little possibility that he might really care and love me it the only thing.. The only hope I have... To not let go and just fight it a little longer...

I'm however still left in this world filled with darkness, I didn't use too have any fears because I would just focus on my friends, how Pha and Kit would help me out when I needed it, until I met Forth, after I finally decided to go with my feelings and be with him, he's been like a light in my life...

And I've known that even though life has been hard and it has seemed like it's turned its back at me, they've always been here. Do I really want to lose that... Do I want to hurt them that much... I'm not afraid anymore because Forth is by my side...

But the thought of him not really loving me creeps back at me...

And I know what people would say... They'd tell me to go... To stop holding him back... To stop ruining his life...

I remember when Forth took me to meet his family, how his mom asked me, after making me tell them about my childhood and how my dad abandoned my mother and me... She had asked whether Forth, her own son, was ruining my life... I remember how even though I never cried, not even when talking about the Asshole of a father I have left. The one question that made me genuinely upset and cry was if Forth was ruining my life as a medical student/ doctor to be.. Because if by anything Forth had made my life worth living. I love him so much and I remember how that question alone made me get up from the table and walk away.

×××

I didn't know what was happening but, as I was standing by the railing leaning against it. I felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around my waist. I must be dreaming, he's not coming home yet... I turned around and there he was... My Forth...

"I thought you weren't due to come home until next weekend..."

"I asked for an early leave, because these past days I've been getting worrying messages from Pha and Kit saying you don't eat, sleep, and that you hide away crying."

I look down... It's all a lie he doesn't care.. He probably came to break up with me...

" Babe.. Look at me... I was coming home to surprise you, but when I got to your dorm. I saw you leave in pouring rain without an umbrella so I followed you here.. I saw how you were leaning towards the railing, in your own world... You scared me... Do you want me to continue to walk beside you as this... Or do you want me to stop right here? Beam I love you and I want you in this world... So... If letting you go is the way I can keep you alive I will do it... Now please, answer me... Do you no longer love me and want me to be by your side?"

" Forth... I love you and I want to be with you... It's just that... No one else seems to want us to be together... And I don't want to live with people saying I'm not good enough for the one person I love and care about..."

"Beam, babe... I love you so please never let me go and never let of us."

I looked into Forths eyes, finally taking in the fact they he's standing right in front of me, saying that he loves me. I lean closer to him and pulled his face close to mine...

And there we were on the middle of the Memorial Bridge kissing in the pouring rain. Not caring about anyone other than ourselves.

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So that it, and I didn't think I'll make it until I leave, but I don't know if I have the opportunity to post the next one tomorrow/actually later today since it's already 3.45am. Anyway since I'm moving today I wanted to post something before I leave on my 6-7 hour drive.. I hope you enjoy this one shot and I will update a new story in the next few days