BL One Shots & Imagines

Now? Or Never

"Now? Or Never"
- Kim Cop + Tee
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"YA, LEAVE ME ALONE!!?!" I yelled at him. My ex-boyfriend was standing in front of me, trying to hold me back, he raised his hand as if he was going to hit me while holding a tight grip on my wrist with the other hand. Suddenly his grip loosened and a person was standing between us.

"P'Kim... What are you doing? Stay out of this... This is a matter between Copter and me..."

"Why should I need to just stand here and watch you harass my boyfriend... Answer me that Tee"

"Boyfriend my ass... I can't believe anyone would even want him..."

I was left there stunned, my ex-boyfriend P'Tee was throwing insults at me, yet he didn't seem to want to let me go. And my crush P'Kim was defending me saying he was my boyfriend? What is going on here... Someone explain this shit to me cause I sure as hell don't understand it.

"Stop it both of you, can't you just for once leave P'Copter alone" Bas said standing a few feet away from us, probably seeing how this whole situation is making me one hell of a uncomfortable mess.

However, I didn't fancy standing here listening to this anymore and I just needed some air, I yanked my arm completely loose from P'Tee and ran out of the studio... We had finished the shooting for the day anyway and I just needed some "me time" if you understand.

☯️//☯️

I didn't think about where I went, I just got into my car and left. Before I knew it I was sitting by the edge of a cliff, I used to come here with my brother, Tay, that was a long time ago though. I can't even properly remember the last time I saw him. I knew it had been a few years since he had left me behind in this cruel world.

As I was sitting there thinking, something I had done quite regularly over the years after the accident. I also looked out over the lights of Bangkok city. The city looked so busy and yet so quiet when you saw it like this. It almost felt like time had stopped, just for me to keep this moment with me. I didn't care about my phone, it probably had dozens of missed calls and messages, but why should I care. They sure as hell didn't care about where I am or what I'm doing.

Okay, maybe Bas did care. He was the only one of the guys in SBfive that seemed like he genuinely wanted me to be happy. But, then again, I don't think any of them would have noticed if I had disappeared, and to be honest I had thought about jumping down and join my brother. At the time when I found out that P'Tee had been cheating on me and my life in general seemed like it was crumbling apart, that was a time when I would come up here to feel a bit closer to Tay, and maybe clear my thoughts a little.

I would sit and talk to my brother, even though I knew I wouldn't get an answer. Today was no different. I sat down looking at the city and I said,

"P' I miss you... And I really know I shouldn't give up on my life just because it gets a little though, but can you forgive me if I do it this time? I feel like as if the world is going fast forward around me and I can't seem to keep up with everything and everyone. Do you remember how I told you that I finally found someone I was ready to open my heart to and how I wanted to keep fighting my demons because he made me stronger? Today I also learned that even the love I have for him isn't enough to keep me going, because no matter what I'm just a simple nobody that no one wants. No one would care if I'm gone. So, would it really be that bad if I decide to not keep up the fight? I managed these years for you, but I miss you too damn much. Of all the people who were to leave me, why did it have to be you? You were the only person in my life that really cared. So, I guess it's time for me to do what I should have done a long time ago. I'm sorry P'Tay. Please forgive me. "
I stood up and looked down at the edge, there was about a 100-meter drop before I would hit the ground below. I took a final deep breath, not even knowing that someone had followed me up here, someone who had heard me talking to myself/my dead brother. That someone was P'Kim... The final words that left my mouth as I was standing there was the words that also would change it all.
"I'm sorry P'Kim... I... Love... You"
Those words was said as a silent little sentence before I took the last step towards the edge of the cliff. However, I never managed to take the fall because P'Kim had come running at me from behind and tackled me to the ground and was now holding me inside his arms.

I opened my eyes and looked at his face. Was I dreaming? Nah... Probably not, but I might already be dead. I thought... Oh wait... Dead people can't think. Shit... This is real and that means he knows... He saw me, and were really in this very awkward position on the ground.

☯️//☯️

It's been a few days since the incident on the cliff and P'Kim haven't left my side. He looked very nervous as he was sitting in a chair beside my bed. He had asked for our drama shooting to be postponed a few days because I was "sick" and needed to be at home, technically that wasn't too far from the truth, but the fact that he had stayed by my side this whole time was what had surprised me the most. I looked at him and smiled a little...

"P'... Are you sure you don't want to leave?... I mean... You don't have to stay... I promise I won't do something like that again..."

"why.. Why didn't I notice that you were hurting... Copter, you know what I said that day... The thing about you being my boyfriend... I was being serious about it because... I wanted it to be real... I want to stay by your side... I want you to rely on me when you have those bad thoughts and I want you to be mine... I know this isn't really the time or the place, but... Will you be my boyfriend?"

" Yes... P'... Of course I want that, and you don't have to worry. I have my bad days, just like everyone else and some days are worse than others, it might have seemed weird that what happened that day would trigger something like that, but you don't need the whole story... Because I'm still here aren't I? And I won't leave you... I promise."

"Promise... My cute little Copgi"

And then he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.

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Okay... I don't know what this is supposed to be... But I just needed to get my feelings out of my head... And I think this was the best way to do it... I'm sorry if it's bad I have a few more that are in progress so they will probably be up some day during the week.