BL One Shots & Imagines

The last Lie

People always see me as a cheerful and happy person, but it's all a lie... P'Tum I'm sorry... Please forgive me and my selfish thoughts...

I'm standing on the railing of a bridge, looking down at the water, it's raining and I can feel the droplets hit my body as cold bullets.

I'm selfish for wanting to let go, for wanting to give up and for wanting everything to go back to how it used to be.

A cold breeze comes over me as I lean forward. It's so refreshing  I think and let a small smile form on my lips. I'm shocked when I feel a pair of arms reach out and drag me backwards and into the person's chest. I turn my head and see P'Tum.

"What the hell were you thinking Tar? I COULD HAVE LOST YOU." His voice was shaking as he spoke, it felt like someone had taken a hold of my guts and pulled.

I was crying and turned around in his arms. He was holding me tight as we were standing there in the rain.

"So what P'Tum? I'm just your brother anyway...if it wasn't for our parents we wouldn't even be in this situation right now. Do...do you remember that day, the day I told you how I'm afraid of love... My fears are becoming real okay? I think I'm falling in love with you P'Tum and it scared the living crap out of me."

"What?"

I can't answer him as I'm breaking down in his arms, I'm hysterically crying and starting to lose my breath. It feels as if I can't keep myself on my own feet anymore and I fall. I close my eyes, focusing on the heartbeat of the person in front of me. His heartbeat is enough to make me calm down a little.

However I'm in no shape to get home on my own and P'Tum takes me onto his back and carries me back to the house.

I can hear mom and dad being hysterical when they see us and instantly takes me to my room.

For the next week or so I don't see P'Tum much, he has his semester finals and I've been bed stuck since that day. Whenever he sees me he has this unreadable expression on his face and I'm afraid I'm the reason.

I fucked everything over as usual...I'm useless... the only thing I know for sure is that the last lie I ever tell will always be the same... I'm fine...

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P'Tum helped me a lot since that day 3 years ago. And I'm finally at a stage where I'm learning to love again but it's so hard.

Yeah... we've come a long way, but I think the hardest thing is accepting all this myself.

×××××××××

A/N - okay I'm sorry this is short...  it's shitty but all this is hitting home, because I know myself the struggles of philophobia because I have it myself and I was so happy that a series I liked a lot included a character I can relate to.

Oh and another thing  what do you guys think about P'Earth and his real life boyfriend? I think P'Earth is so suited for Jay it's a so incredible cute couple.