Protector | Sequel to Protected

Monster

I didn't bother practicing the transformation. I knew I would have plenty of time for that. By plenty of time, I meant forever. Right now I needed to talk to Lucas. 

As if I had done it a thousand times, I went to the library, crossed the room, counted bookshelves until I got to the right one, then found the book Werewolf. I took a deep breath and pushed on the spine. I heard the familiar click, and the door swung open.

The room was trashed. All of the books on the bookshelf were scattered on the floor. The bed was a wreck, with Lucas sitting in the middle of it. 

His hair was mussed up, as if he hadn't washed or combed it in days. He had black bags under his eyes, and he usually sparkling green eyes were dull and unfeeling.

"Lucas?" I said timidly.

He jolted at the sound of my voice and looked up at me.

"Don't look at me, Maya. I'm a monster. I'm unfit to even be in your presence," he croaked, his voice dry and strained.

I winced, "That's not true, Lucas. You're not a monster. And you're definitely not unfit to be in my presence," I said.

He growled, "Stop it, Maya. Just stop it. You never could see the bad things about me. How can you still want to be with me? How can you not throw up when you look at me? What I did was terrible, Maya. Terrible. I'm just as bad as the Alpha."

"Don't say that!" I cried. I tried to sound sure and powerful, but the desperation leaked into my voice, making it sound shrill and weak.

He mistook my desperation for uncertainty, and he let out an animalistic howl of a laugh.

"You know it, don't you? You know how awful I am. You heard me, Maya, you know it's true. I'm just like Matthews. Just as bad as the old Alpha," he said harshly.

"No, you're not! You're nothing like him!" my voice was stronger now, "You're Lucas, my Lucas! You're funny, and sweet, and romantic, and protective, and caring, and you love me, and I love you!"

He was silent, and for a second I thought he was going to listen to sense.

I was wrong.

"You got one thing right," he said quietly, "I do love you. But you shouldn't love me. I'm a monster. What I did to you was inexcusable. I'm sorry, Maya. I can't be with you anymore. All I'm going to do is hurt you more."

"No, Lucas, you don't get it-" I was going to tell him about my decision, about how I was already planning to ask him to change me, but he cut me off.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore, Maya. You don't see me for who I am. We can't be together. You should leave," he said.

"But Lucas-"

"Leave," he said, with such a powerful finality that only an Alpha could deliver. I bit my lip, turned, and stormed out. As I was leaving, I noticed that there was one book left standing on the bookshelf. It stood so neatly that I knew it was no coincidence that it survived Lucas's ravaging of the room. I took it and slipped it into my pocket, then I popped the latch and slammed the bookshelf behind me.

I breathed hard, leaning back against the bookshelf. 

Why had I left?

He needed me, and I needed him. I had to apologize for leaving like that. I had to explain things to him. I turned and pushed on the werewolf book. I waited for the click, for the door to pop open.

Nothing happened.

I pressed it again. Again. Again.

Nothing.

Nothing happened.

Desperately, I pressed all of the other books on the shelf. I double checked the titles, and then I tried the book Werewolf a few more times.

Nothing.

Lucas had locked me out.

I turned, tears running down my cheeks, and fled from the library. I ran down the stairs and out the kitchen door, ran into the woods. I took off my clothes until I stood naked in the forest. I clenched my muscles and visualized myself as a wolf. 

It happened instantly, just as I knew it would. I felt a ripple rush through me, like a lightning bolt searing through my bloodstream, and I ran on four paws into the forest. I held my clothes in my mouth and ran as hard and as fast as I could. I caught my reflection in a puddle before I splashed through it.

I was a blond-furred wolf with blue-gray-green eyes. I had sharp teeth, paws that could crush a car, and claws that could cut through metal.

I was a werewolf.

And I knew that I couldn't stay, not without Lucas, not if he was going to abandon me.

So I ran.

I was never turning back.