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21.

NEW YEARS EVE, IS maybe my favorite moment of the year. Not because the year is ending or a new one is starting. I just love the fireworks so much, they always make me so happy. plus on new years eve everyone is happy.

This year I will be celebrating it from the hospital. I don't mind because I can see the fireworks better form up here, and Nikki and Jack are here. Nikki came back yesterday from Ohio. She begged her mom to celebrate new year's with me. Years ago, I think we where both 6 we made a promise that we will always celebrate new years eve together, no matter how old we were. So that's what we're doing right now.

'I have food and stupid headbands' she comes in my room that was decorated in gold, ugly, decorations that she brought with. Now she hold ugly headbands that say "2019" really big on them.

'I like the food' Jack moans

'you have to put on a headband' I say and he moans louder

'I don't want to hear what noises you two make in the night' Nikki mumbled as she put the phone down

'woah, you're moving too fast Nik' I scoffed

'whoopsie' she sheepishly said and sat down

'idiot' I mumbled and jack laughed.

'so do you have wishes for the new year?' Jack asked

'not really, I mean not more than that I want to accomplish my goals' I shrugged

'and what are your goals?' Jack asked. I had put my legs over his as I do every time we sit on the couch.

'ehm-' I frowned. They used to be go to my dream collage, and just do my whole plan but now I don't know. 'I don't know'

'oh come on, you have to have at least one' Nikki said

'I guess that I want to heal' I shrugged, I of course want that but I'm feeling less and less tired so I basically feel my body healing.

'don't you have like one thing you want. A big thing, like change the world' Jack said

'I guess that I want to be remembered. And not be remembered by my parents, I want to leave a story behind. I want to make an impact on the world, that when someone wants to hear the name Ava they'll think of me you know'

'you never want to die' Jack mumbled 'you want your existence to be remembered and never die. Like the way that Michael Jackson never dies'

'exactly' I exclaimed

'don't you have a bucket list?' Nikki asks me

'not a big one, just a small list that I made when I was 16 and a hopeless romantic' I laughed

'it's a bucket list' Nikki put her hands up

'I guess it is' I shrugged 'anyway how late is it?'

Jack looked at his watch '11:59'

'it's almost time' I clapped in my hands. I grabbed the cheap champagne glasses that were filled with apple juice.

'it's one minute till midnight and I'm glad you're standing here' I say

'girl meets world' Jack smiled and I smiled back

'guys it's almost time' Nikki said when we hers people scream 10 form outside.

'9' we then all said

'8'

'7'

'6'

'5' Jack grabbed my hand

'4' I smiled to him

'3' I also smiled to Nikki

'2' I'm a lucky girl, standing here with the 2 people I truly love

'1'

'HAPPY NEW YEAR' we all yelled. i gave Nikki a long hug.

'I love you I love you I love you so much' she mumbled

'I love you Nik, forever'

I then turned to Jack. I gave him a long hug

'I love you' he mumbled

'I love you more' I smiled and then gave him a long kiss.

'third wheeling' Nikki coughed and I laughed

'aren't you used to it by now' Jack mumbled

'no and please look outside, it's beautiful' she rolled her eyes

I then looked outside. My window viewed the side with all the buildings. Everywhere where fireworks. It was beautiful, almost magical.

'wow' Jack gasped. I sat on the window-ledge and so did Nikki. Our feet turning to each other. Jack stood beside me with his hand over my shoulders.

I now can say I'm really happy. I know I've been happy my whole life but these last 2 months have been hard because– you know- cancer. But right now, I'm really happy. it suddenly all feels right, I always felt like there was something missing and now it doesn't feel like that anymore.

Cancer may took my school life, some of my friends, my love for sports and partly my freedom away. but it also gave me Jacks and honestly, I'd rather have him then all of those things.

I know it's only been 2 months that I've known him, and 4 weeks we've been together and a week that I've known that I love him but.. I don't know, it all feels so right with him. He makes me feel things that I've never felt before. It's so weird but also amazing. Even when I only hear his name I feel million butterflies.

Look, I don't know a lot about love. But I have a feeling this is it.

'Ava' Nikki said 'promise me you'll heal'

'I'll heal' I grab her hand 'I promise you'

Like I told you, I can't promise her this but I will anyway. This is what she needs right now and I'm willing to do everything she needs. Even if it means promising thing I don't even know myself.

I literally will do anything for her. she's like a sister, she's family and I'll do anything for family.