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31.

TODAY I SLEPT THE whole day. The all-nighter destroyed me. I was so tired I couldn't even open my eyes. I slept for 12 hours straight and was still tired when I wake up. But that wasn't different form other days.

When I did woke up I had this weird feeling over me, like it was my last day. I hope it isn't so I can enjoy everything just a little longer. But I also kind of do, I am suffering so much and I just want this hell to be over. today we'll fulfill the last item on my bucket list so after that I can just go.

I just need to hold on a little longer.

'Jack can you help me up' I sit up from my bed

'of course baby' he grabs my hands and pulls me up. In a reflex I put my arms around him not to fall again.

'are you excited for today?' he smiles

'I am' I smile weak and plant a kiss on his lips.

Slowly I put on my clothes and walk to the stairs.

'oh god' I curse under my breath and I slowly try to walk of the stairs.

'are you okay?' Jack grabs my shoulders,

'let me carry her' I turn around to my brother. He walks in front of me and I go on his back.

'thanks' I say when he sets me down.

'honey you ride is ready' my mom walks up to me

'yeah' I smiled and close my eyes for a bit because I could literally sleep right now.

'have fun honey' she pulls me in a tight, long hug.

'thank mom, I will' I smiled and then walk with her to my dad.

'I love you little girl' he pulls me in a hug which he rarely does. He's just scared I won't come back, alive.

'I love you too dad' I smile and then grab Jacks hand.

'Nikki is already there' he tells me and I nod. It was already dark outside, and cold. Luckily I had put on a lot of warm clothes.

We went in my brothers car to the park where we walked to Nikki. She had put down a big blanket with a lot of blankets on it and food.

'he Ava' she gave me a hug,

'I love it' I smiled and sit down.

'how are you feeling' she asked and I shrugged,

'tired'.

They also sat down and grabbed a few blankets. I put one around me and drank a little bit form the coffee she brought.

'so what was your last wish because I was just told to make a little picnic place in the parc' Nikki scoffed

'well my original plan was to drive somewhere and watch the stars but because I don't have a lot of energy I asked Jacks to do it in the parc'

'well' she looks at me 'let's watch the stars then'

'let's do that' I lay down. I feel Jack putting his arms around me and pulling me closer.

'I love you' he places a kiss on my head.

Nikki lies down next to me and grabs my hand. Brian lies down with his head on Nikki's belly.

The strs where beautiful. it was a full moon which made it even more special. I always thought tars where special. Their never the same and you can never make a photo because for some reason you can't see them. It's like you have to go out and watch if you want to see them. You can't just look online, you will never find real ones.

'guys' I whisper because I'm simply too weak to speak out loud

'what?' Nikki squeezes my hand

'I think it's time' I whisper. I feel so weak and I almost can't keep my eyes open.

I literally feel like I'm dying.

'you're not going' Nikki mumbles

'yes I am' I smile and I look at her

'I love you Ava' Brian states. I feel him turning and putting his hand on my arm.

'just always remember me okay. Never forget me, or the cat that I love you' I whisper

'we will never ever ever forget you' Jack whispers and I feel him planting a kiss on my head

'you will always have my heart' I look up at Jack

'Ava don't go' Nikki says and I look at her

'I have to' I try to smile 'it's time'

'i don't know what I'll do without you' she mumbles

'me neither but just- I love you' I keep whispering

'say hello to grandma for me' Brian mumbles and I let out a quite chuckle

'I'll se you in decades babe' Jack mumbles. I want to say something back but I'm so weak.

It's like I feel my heart beating slower and slower. Every breath takes almost all my energy and everyone may be my last.

I close my eyes. I feel Nikki squeezing my hand and hear her crying. Jack pulls me closer to him and Brian grabs the hand Nikki was already holding.

It was like my whole life was flashing by. Every happy moment I had came by. Gosh I'm going to miss everything so much.

'I love you' was the last thing I heard jack say before a loud shivering breath left my mouth.

Then everything shut down. A single tear left my eye and that was the last thing I remembered.

I was dead. I wasn't alive anymore.

The cancer killed me. it won our war. The never-ending fight was over.