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24.

I'LL BE FINE. I'LL be fine. I will definitely be fine. 

I kept telling myself that but somewhere I knew I wouldn't be.

After I passed out jack told me that the doctors almost immediately operated me to take some bone marrow. If I believe him they looked really worried.

'Victor' I heard my mom whine

'mom I'll be fine' I said. She was sitting on the couch with my dad. Jack was next to me in my bed, my hands where around him and my head on his chest.

'but what if you're not' she looked at me with watery eyes, which was heartbreaking

'that we'll see what happens' I tried to stay positive but we both knew that if it was bad new I will die. I won't have the life I wanted, my life will only last for as long the doctors tell me.

'Ava' Jack kissed my head

'don't tell my you love me, I am not going to die. You still have plenty time to tell me that, a lot preferably' I whispered and a little chuckle left his lips

'I love you' he mumbled,

'stubborn as always'

I then almost fell asleep but doctor Verses came in. she grabbed a chair and sat next to the bed.

'Ava' she sighed 'how are you feeling?'

'tired as always' I grabbed Jacks hand. I was very nervous, I think I've never been this nervous in my life.

'okay' she sighed and looked at the paper she was holding. 'so we looked in your bone marrow and we even made a MRI scan'

I knew what was coming. I've read about it. in a MRI scan you can't see blood, the cancer has spread.

'it has spread' I mumbled and she looked up

'ava it's in your brain'

I felt Jack putting his head n my shoulder. My mom made a gasp sound and hid herself in my dad. My eyes watered.

'can you heal me?' I asked

'we'll do our best' she mumbled

'can you or can't you?' she looked at me and shook her head,

'I'm so sorry'

'how long?'

'it will take about-'

'I don't need to know how I'll die, I just want to know when' I cut her off

'2 to 3 months' she whispered.

I closed my eyes. this was it, my life was finally over. I only had 2 to 3 months to live. My biggest fear became reality.

'I'm so sorry Ava' Doctor Verses grabbed my hand

'don't be, you can't do anything about this. This is just that stupid disease that thought it would be fun to make me part of that 20%'

'be strong sunshine' she gave me a kiss on me sleep and then went away.

The room was awfully silent. The only sound you heard was my mom crying and my dad shushing her. I just stared at the wall while tears fell over my cheeks.

'I love you' Jack whispered

'I'm dying' I mumbled breathlessly and I felt Jack grabbing my face.

'sometimes the smallest things take the up the most room in your heart' he whispered. I chuckled because I'm small and apparently I take a lot of room in his heart.

'you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world.. but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices' I whispered back

'and I do mine' he whispered and planted a kiss on my lips

'I love you Ava, forever'

After a while I stood up and walked over to my mom.

'mom, come here' I mumbled and she looked up at me

'my girl' she pulled me in a hug 'my beautiful girl'.

'mom' I wined 'I still have 3 months',

'2, maybe 3' she corrected me

'3, keep a positive mind right' I said and she scoffed,

'how can you be so positive when you just heard that you're fucking dying'

'hey!' I exclaimed 'don't curse'. She always tells me, and now I tell her. how ironic.

'dad' I mumbled still hugging my mom

'baby girl' he stood up and also hugged us.

'I love you both, forever and ever and ever and ever' I mumbled.

I then felt Jack hugging us.

And there I was, 3 people who I love around me. Knowing that I can't enjoy them for very much longer.

FUCK I'm dying. Right now it's real. I always was so convinced that I'll heal, but now I'm not. I can't, I can't heal.

I will hurt people. I always tried to hurt people as less as I can and now I'm hurting people in the worst was you can hut them.

And all this because of some stupid disease. The one disease everyone hates. And somehow I ended up dying because of it. do I deserve this? What have I done to deserve this? What have my parents done to a deserve a dying daughter? And my brother, he's to good, he doesn't deserve a dying sister.

Oh and Jack, he deserves this the less. He just heard that he's healing and now his girlfriend is dying.

And then we have Nikki, the one person who will be hurt the most. She won't have anyone if I'm not there anymore.

SHIT why do I have to hurt everyone around me. Why do I have to do the one thing I never wanted to do.