Snapshots | ✓

Nineteen: Hayes

Monday, May 18th, 2015

Hayes sat at the dining table, forehead pressed against the cool wood. It was an ungodly hour in the morning. It was the first day of her internship with Dr. Kirschenbaum and she wasn't sure how long it would take to reach the museum in rush hour traffic, and instead of hoping for the best she had decided that the best solution was to wake up at 6am. She just needed to get caffeine. After caffeine, she would be functional. But the path to caffeine seemed unconquerable when she could barely remain upright.

A headache like a jackhammer was compounding her regret for even thinking she would be able to do this all summer. She needed food, a shower, and clothes, but she couldn't keep her eyes open. They slipped shut again, and she wondered if maybe she could manage a quick nap that would make her feel better. Or even just make her head stop hurting.

The bathroom door opened. Hayes shot upright with a sharp inhale, eyes guiltily wide. No time for sleep, she had to get ready to go. She turned to ask Micah if he was done with the bathroom and—

Her brain shorted out.

She blinked rapidly, trying to reset herself, but nothing happened. Her eyes simply would not shift away from the shirtless, freshly showered Micah who was standing at the mouth of the hallway wearing only a towel and an expression of confusion. He was exactly as perfectly proportioned under his shirt as he appeared when wearing one, except somehow she found this even better. She was overcome by the burning desire to touch his abs. Her imagination took the tiny admission and ran, and before she knew it she found herself wanting to—

"Ohmigod." Hayes jumped to her feet, now very much awake and very much blushing scarlet. "I'm so sorry, I'm just—I needed—you were—"

"I see why you always get caffeine before you talk to people," he teased, giving her a sympathetic smile.

She nodded, not trusting her mouth.

"Why are you awake so early?" he asked, walking past her to the kitchen.

She caught a whiff of his soap and had to dig her nails into her palm to keep herself grounded. "My internship starts today."

"You don't have to be there until 10am, right?"

"Mhm." The sound was strangled. She floated after him and hovered at the entrance to the kitchen, watching as he put both sides of a bagel in the toaster and started the single-serve coffee machine.

"How long are you planning on taking to get ready? I doubt it's going to take you two hours to get there even if you give yourself the other two to get ready."

"I was nervous about getting there on time. This seemed like the best option."

"Hopefully your brain turns on before you get there," Micah joked, passing her again on the way back to his room. Water from his hair had dripped onto his shoulders, a few catching in his clavicle but most leaving tiny trails of moisture on his skin as gravity pulled them down. A shiver ran down her spine as she followed him with her eyes. He disappeared, closing the door behind him.

Hayes shook herself. Drooling over her roommate was not a productive start to her day! She had to get ready, to prepare for the beginning of the hardest summer of her life! She had to be centred, focused, armed with all of the knowledge she had. And yet.

Micah returned to the kitchen, this time wearing pants and an unbuttoned white dress shirt. He took the coffee mug—one of hers, she realized—out of the machine and passed it to her without comment, then prepared a travel mug and started his own coffee. The bagel popped and he fished it out.

"That's a lot of cream cheese," she commented, hands wrapped around the piping hot coffee mug.

"Why do you think I work out so much?" he asked.

She laughed, then watched as he did up his buttons between bites of bagel. She would have offered to help but didn't trust herself to be that close to him at the moment. The last thing she needed right now was a lapse of judgement during a weak moment to ruin the good thing they had going.

"Thank you for the coffee," she said.

He waved her off. "You need it."

She smiled again, very grateful they were standing on opposite sides of the room. "Do you need the bathroom anymore or am I good to hop in the shower?"

"Go ahead. And good luck at your internship, you're going to do great."

She nodded her thanks and headed for the bathroom, locking herself inside. She sat on the closed toilet seat. Took several deep breaths and a sip of coffee. Reminded herself of her resolution to not get gooey over someone she couldn't date without serious consequences. Another sip of coffee.

God, they were pre-measured packages but somehow he managed to make it better than she could. The mug had been hot but it was the millisecond where he'd given her a soft smile when their fingers had brushed that was burned into her mind's eye. It was one of the little moments that warmed her insides like nothing else ever had. Like everything contained in them was absolutely perfect. She would have lived on that feeling, would have bottled it, if it was possible.

But it wasn't. Because it was Micah. Because it would be too complicated with their living situation. Because she wouldn't be able to handle losing him if something were to go wrong.

Hayes looked into the dark liquid and decided that she would give herself until the bottom of the mug to entertain her fantasies and then she would have to return to the real world. She closed her eyes and smiled contentedly, steadfastly ignoring the lump in her throat.