The Gilmore Girl Twin ; dean forester

New Year, New You

Heartbreak is when you have a constant pain in your entire body, and yet it is completely numb at the same time. Heartbreak is when you decide to give up, when you figure that if you aren't good enough for the one you love, then you aren't good enough for anyone. Heartbreak is when you try to forget about him, to stop thinking about him and try with all of your might to fall out of love with him. Heartbreak is, when no matter how hard you try, you don't forget about him, you never stop thinking about him, and you love him even more and more.

"That was weird" I mumbled to Mom, as her, Rory and I left our grandparents.

Now that Grandma and Grandpa were 'separated', we were going to have drinks with him, and dinner with her. It was a very interesting set up, and I wasn't very enthusiastic about the awkwardness of the whole situation, considering how I had just gotten off a plane from Baltimore, Maryland that morning.
This summer I spent at Johns Hopkins University, in their Summer Research Internship program, a highly prestigious and selective program. It took almost the whole summer, considering how I had only a few days after my final to fly to Baltimore, and tomorrow I would be moving into my new dorm room in Branford.
Overall, the summer was an incredible learning experience. I met a bunch of great, intelligent people and gained some mentors in the process.
However, when Mom drove me home this morning from the airport, my stomach felt topsy-turvy. I didn't want to be home. Anywhere but Stars Hollow. I spent the weekends at Johns Hopkins, when we weren't studying with a group of friends... and I may have been intimate with some of the guys. I learned more about who I was, more than who I was trying to be. I felt different.. like I didn't have to keep being a carbon copy of my sister or the 'house wife' simulation for Dean. I just got to be me... which was a lot edgy than I think even I was expecting. I didn't have the stress anymore of what Dean was doing, or what I 'should' be doing for him and us as a couple.

"Yea, I just hope that they get back together and this fighting stops soon" Rory said, as Mom just sighed.
"I don't know, girls" She said, as we drove home in silence, each thinking about what we just encountered.

The next day was going to be so long, but instead of having Dean help me move into the dorm, Grandma hired some movers for Rory and I. This year, we were lived in the same hall, different suites. Over the summer, we had decided for room situations and Paris really wanted to share a suite with Rory, while I wanted some more distance. I just... wanted some separation and become my own person. Rory was a little hurt, understandably, but it wasn't against her. We had been very distant since spring break, and her seeing Tom again. I didn't agree with the whole scenario, and I didn't want to hear about it especially after my break up with Dean. I didn't say that Dean and I had broken up, but when she brought up Paris wanting to room with her, I just shrugged my shoulders and said I didn't want to get in Paris' way.... which was partially true. So I was now sharing a suite with Lucy which was going to be interesting.

"Hey girl! I'm so glad we're suite-mates. This year is going to be great" Lucy said, as the movers helped move furniture my grandmother picked out into the suite. Rory got the stuff from last year, while I got new stuff which was really nice.
"Yea, I'm excited" I said, as I finished unpacking my duffel bags of clothes into the closet.

I was glad I didn't have to share anymore, considering I had majorly overhauled my wardrobe this summer. I had sold a bunch of my old clothes and bought new things, with the help of the money I gained by working at a cashier job in Baltimore over the summer. Sandy and Rachel, and some of the girls in the program, really helped me get a new style and I was ready to be me, what ever version that may be now.

"Hey doll face! Are you going out tonight?" Tyler called, as I was sitting in my bedroom. Tyler was a friend from The Johns Hopkins program who was nice, smart, from an affluent family, and a good friend. Turns out, he also went to Yale. We were never romantically involved, no, but he was now one of my closest friends. He reminded me of the people I went to Chilton with. We had spent a lot of time together hanging out at Johns Hopkins and I was so glad he'd be here at Yale. He knew I had just gotten out of a relationship, I may have drunk told him...but he was great with being my drinking buddy to help me forget. The "doll face" nickname he gave me on our first day because I had the face of a model or something like that. I had ordered a pizza and was currently just relaxing, preparing for tomorrow's classes.
"I was thinking about it. Why?" I asked, grabbing another slice of pizza.
"There's this party my friends are hosting And I would love for you to come" Tyler said, and I knew he couldn't see my face but I raised an eyebrow.
"Your friends? Like the crazy ones you talked about...?" I said, remembering the interesting stories he would tell me.
"Yes, but I promise there will be good booze and I'll be there. Please? You're gorgeous and all the guys will love you" he said, in a begging voice. I chuckled.
"Fine. What time and where?" I asked.
"I'll pick you up at 9 doll face. Wear the  white dress I like. Just text me your suite number" Tyler said before hanging up the phone.
After finishing the pizza, I went into my closet to get the dress Tyler wanted me to wear. I would be meeting a whole new crowd of people tonight, and I'd be meeting them as the single Tory Gilmore. My closet was definitely different from when it moved out last year. I had really gotten my own personality with the Johns Hopkins program people and especially Tyler.