Ships and Love

I Want to Help You

Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Fluff, Dark

Self Harm Mentions

Past (Studying in Gusu)

~*~

Wei Wuxian wanted to stop but he couldn't. The slashes were everywhere, covering his pale skin. He slowly lifted suibian up and slashed down once more. It felt like an addiction.

Ah...it was indeed an addiction.

The wounds criss-crossed his arm, they were also in different shades of red. Like...flowers...

The colour red bloomed everywhere. No one, other than the servants who would be cleaning, dared to enter the courtyard. The person inside was also not quite favoured by their master, Lan Wangji. They didn't inquire if anything was wrong, even if the sound itself was disturbing.

Wei Wuxian had this side of him, even though he always kept a smile on his face, joking. Only by drinking the Emperor's Smile would he calm down, and not self harm.

He didn't only cut himself. Sometimes, he went outside and looked for danger, throwing himself first. He had no one else in this life. He wanted to die.

And Lan Wangji...it was better not to mention about that man...

Lan Wangji disliked him, he presumed. In some times, the man himself said for him to kill himself. He just wanted to get more friends...

I tried killing myself, but I just couldn't die.

Wei Wuxian only feared dogs. Ever since young, he feared dogs. Even if he could get hurt provoking a dog, he didn't want to provoke a dog.

It is scary...

His shidi, Jiang Cheng, had been considerate. He appreciated that. But should Jiang Cheng not move the dogs, he could've just left...

Living in the streets were better...getting beaten up daily by those gangsters. The life of the street rats...life of pain.

Ah yes...only pain showed Wei Wuxian that he was still alive.

The feeling of cold metal against his skin...

The feeling of warm hands on top o his windpipe...

The feeling of bones breaking and flesh burning...

They showed him that he was still breathing, walking, and living...

But he didn't want to live...

When he was flogged, his back turned black and blue. It was painful, he wished he could die...

But he was still alive.

The flogg marks were still there. Red and pink against his pale skin. Criss-crossed like the ones on his arm. The ones on his arm would look the same in a week or so.

Does Lan Wangji think this is beautiful?

Will he be my friend if I show this art to him?

Slowly, Wei Wuxian stood up. He polished suibian and tidied up his clothes. Would Lan Wangji appreciate it?

When he was about to go out, he heard a knock. Well, he was about to go out too, he could tell that person at the same time. It was extremely time saving.