In Love With You | Seulyong

Chapter 15 - Numb

Seulgi woke up at the feeling of her body's numbness. She knew excatly why there was a weight on her shoulder as well as a tight grip around her body. She knew exactly why there was a warm breath hitting the crook of her neck. But even though she knew why, she felt too nervous to open her eyes.

She bit her lower lip as she slowly opened her eyes and discovered Taeyong holding her as if he was holding onto dear life.

She tried to breathe in a way that wouldn't wake him up, he who fell asleep crying while she stroked his head and he held her close to him. She turned her head a bit, trying not to wake him up, and discovered his sleeping face.

Her heart was in pain at the sight of his tightly clenched jaw despite his sleeping state. She noticed small pearls of sweat on his forehead, and his furrowed eyebrows. His lips formed a thin line and his breathing was a bit ragged. She slowly moved her free hand to his forehead and brushed the few messy strands of hair away from it. She gently wiped his sweat off of his forehead, and proceeded to lightly trace his dark and messy eyebrows with her fingers. She then proceeded to stroke his cheek tenderly.

She hated it.

She hated seeing her junior whom she adored just so much being in such a state of emotional pain. She wished she could take all the pain away from him. She was even ready to take all of his pain, and suffer instead of him. She would have done so, if only she could have.

Her eyes became watery at the thought of the young man's situation. Many questions traveled her mind endlessly.

"Is he going to be alright?"

"Is he going to make it through?"

"Is he going to be able to fix this mess?"

"Is he going to be able to prove all of these words are pure invention coming from people who jealoused him?"

"Is he going to give up?"

"Is he going to leave me alone?"

"Is he going to leave me by myself?"

"Is he going to disappear from my life as if he never existed?"

Many questions tormented her. She felt terribly concerned and worried about him. She felt worried about his current condition, but she also wondered if he was going to be able to make it through. She worried even more when the thought of him possibly giving up on everything, and just leave crossed her mind. She didn't want him to.

He didn't work so hard to give up now, she thought. Her heart ached at the possibility of him giving everything up because of lies. She was so worried this would affect his potential career as an artist.

In the past she thought that she would feel fulfilled once she would have debuted. Now she thought that if he wasn't going to debut, she won't ever be able to truly feel fulfilled. She wanted him to debut. She wanted him to make it. She wanted him to hit big. She dreamed for him of the same future that she dreamed for herself.

His future was just as important as her own to her. Was it because he always cheered for her? Was it because he reminded her of herself? Was it because he grew to become her favorite junior? Or was it because she grew so attached to him that she wanted him to feel the same kind of happiness as she did? Did she want him to share the same dream as hers?

Did she want him to share the same dreams as hers in order to feel even closer to him?

She didn't really know why she felt so comfortable with this young man. She didn't really know why she felt so comfortable with him that she wouldn't even feel uncomfortable laying down in his bed while he held her body tight against him.