kardashian | h.s.

up all night

"just write about what you feel. about anything at all." harry instructed me and i did exactly that. it took a minute to get it started but as soon as i did, lyrics just kept flowing, one after the next. he was writing too, i didn't know what about.

not even 5 minutes later, i was about halfway done with the song. when i told this to harry, he was definitely surprised. "well that was fast." he said. "show it to me." i handed him my notebook with my song written in it. he read it over with wide eyes and then looked up at me. when we made eye contact, i could see the sympathy and sadness in them.

"baby." he spoke, his voice barely even a whisper. "you told me to write what i feel." i shrugged it off. "i did. but i didn't know what you were feeling was this painful." he placed his hand on my knee. "do you mind if i add some stuff? i wrote a song kind of like this, about a year ago." he pulled out his phone and went to the notes app, i guess that's where he'd written the song.

"what i'm adding might change the vibe of the song just a little, because what i wrote was about wanting to be with the person, which was you by the way, and i know that's not how you feel about justin. if you don't like these lyrics, we can always change them." he told me while he scribbled onto the sheet.

i read his changes. he made it better. "how long did you feel like this?" i asked, kind of nervous for the answer. "kaia, i felt this for two years. so, i know how you're feeling right now. except, i was in love with you. you don't still love justin, do you?" he asked me nervously. "definitely no." i shook my head. "i love you."

"i love you too. do you want to sing it now?" he asked me.  "i think i do." i nodded and stood up, walking to the recording booth. harry helped me get all set up before leaving the booth and standing on the other side of the glass.

"whenever you're ready, baby." he smiled kindly towards me. i took a deep breath and opened my mouth. i had no music for this yet, so it was just acapella for now.

Stone cold, stone cold
You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor
Stone cold, stone cold
Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel anymore
Stone cold, baby
God knows I tried to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am, even if I
Can't understand, I'll take the pain
Give me the truth, me and my heart
We'll make it through
If happy is her, I'm happy for you
Stone cold, stone cold
You're dancing with her, while I'm staring at my phone
Stone cold, stone cold
I was your amber, but now she's your shade of gold
Stone cold, baby
God knows I tried to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am, even if I
Can't understand, I'll take the pain
Give me the truth, me and my heart
We'll make it through
If happy is her, I'm happy for you
Don't wanna be stone cold, stone
I wish I could mean this but here's my goodbye
Oh, I'm happy for you
Know that I am, even if I
Can't understand
If happy is her, if happy is her
I'm happy for you

I felt a tear or two fall as i sang it, it was painful to sing but i knew that would make it better. songs are always better when you actually feel the way the song is. harry looked sadly at me through the glass before turning away and wiping his eyes.

"aw, h, are you crying?" i awed. i left the booth and trapped him in a big bear hug. we stayed in the hug for a really long time. he knew how much i'd needed it. it had been a very long, emotional day for me. "i want to write more." i stated suddenly, pulling away from him and sitting back down.

harry and i ended up staying in that studio all night, until 6 in the morning. we wrote about a dozen songs that night, some for me, some for him, and even a duet. we sang some covers too when we felt like taking a break from writing.

"kaia bear?" harry called and i looked up at him as we were getting ready to leave. "yes, h?" he looked nervous. "how would you feel if i asked you to officially be my girlfriend?" he mumbled sheepishly. "i would feel fantastic." i shrugged my shoulders. "well then, would you like to officially be my girlfriend?" he asked, a proud smirk displayed across his face. "i would love to." i kissed his lips.