kardashian | h.s.

change my mind

as soon as we walk step out of the car, harry and i are hounded by cameras and press trying to get us to talk to them. harry grabs my hand and leads me through the mess.

we walk down the red carpet and take pictures. as we walk, i hear paparazzi hurling a million questions at us, but i can only make out a few; "are you two dating?", "kaia, are you and justin getting back together?", "harry, what's the new album about?", "is haia real?", "kaia, did you cheat on justin with harry?", and "kaia, have you seen justin yet?". the last one confuses me. what does he mean have i seen him yet?

after the red carpet, harry and i walk into the club like venue where the party was being held. suddenly, i notice i've been lifted off the ground and turn to see my favorite little irishman smiling at me. i wrap my arms around him and scream. "aw, ni! i missed you so much!" i mumble against his shoulder and we hug.

"what about me?" a british voice asks and i see louis, smiling at me with his arms wide open. i jump into them and hold him tightly. i've missed my boys, i haven't seen them in a few months. i pull away and see kendall walk over to louis and wrap her arms around him. "hey, ken! how was your shoot?" i asked her. she smiled widely, "really great. i'm so proud of how it turned out."

an arm wrapped around my shoulder, and i saw it was liam. "aw, hi lili!" i pull him into a loving hug. "where's z?" i ask them and they all simultaneously shrug.

just as they do, however, someone covers my eyes from behind. "guess who?" i squeal like an excited toddler and wrap my arms around who i know is zayn. "there's my favorite girl!" he says as we hug. i'm super close with all of the boys, who i love very much. as i pull away from zayn, i see harry walking away. "where's haz going?" i ask the boys and they shrug. "don't worry about harold, he's just a little jealous is all." louis says and the boys laugh, leaving me confused. "jealous of what?" i ask them and they all look at me like i'm stupid. louis puts his eyes over niall's eyes and recreates what zayn and i just did, with a close hug at the end. i roll my eyes and go to find harry.

when i find him, he's whispering in some girl's ear. she giggles and puts her hand on his chest. the sight makes me want to vomit, but i don't know why. i decide against talking to him about it and just avoid the situation all together. i turn around and walk the other direction for a minute before someone tugs in my arm. i turn, expecting to see harry. instead, i am face to face with someone i would've never expected to be here.

"justin?" i ask, confused. "can we talk?" he asks me and i don't move. i'm frozen in my place. "kaia, please?" he asks again but i just stare at him, unable to form words, or even coherent thoughts. he takes my silence as an agreement and pulls me by my arm, out of the back of the building.

"kaia, i'm so sorry for what i did. i know there's nothing i can do to fix it and apologizing will never make up for the hurt i've caused you but i want a second chance. please, kaia. i love you so much and i'm so sorry. if you take me back i promise you i'll never hurt you again." he pleads.

i think for a moment. he hurt me terribly, but justin's the only boyfriend i've ever had, possibly the only man that would date me. it's no secret that i'm the ugly one of my sisters. i do miss him and i still love him but i don't want that pain again. how would i trust him?

"okay, you get one more chance." i say before i really even reach a conclusion in my head. he smiles and kisses me roughly, but i don't feel the same about his kiss as i used to. i decide i'm just overthinking this. "do you want to go back inside?" he asks and i nod. he drapes his arm over my shoulder and leads me back inside.

before we can get too far, we're stopped by harry. "um, kai, love? can i talk to you for a second?" he asks me, i can see anger and pure hatred in his eyes. not directed at me, but at justin. they've never gotten along, but after justin cheated on me, harry has hated him. justin always hated harry, he always accused me of cheating with him, little did i know.

i excuse myself from justin, who looks pissed at me for doing so, but whatever. i'll deal with him later. harry pulls me back outside before blurting out, "what the fuck, kai? are you back with him?" i'm taken by surprise, i know harry hates justin, but he's never like this with me.

"yes, i am." i nod, trying to remain calm while harry rants at me. "what the fuck? why? what are you doing getting back with him? do you not remember what he's put you through? he's an asshole, kaia grace." harry calls me "kaia grace" when he's mad at me, like he's my father. "how can you take him back? he doesn't fucking deserve you! you've done everything for him but he couldn't give less of a shit!" he fumes.

"you think i don't know that he hurt me? do you think i just forgot? no, i'll never forget. but justin's the only guy that's ever wanted me. he might be my only shot at a relationship. he promised me that he'll never do it again. and you know what? i love him. i do. and i cant control that. yeah, we've been through some shit, but i still love him." i explain and harry's face softens.

"you think justin's the only guy that wants you?" he asks. i stand still, embarrassed. "you really think that?" i nod my head, shyly. "oh, kai. you are so blind." he chuckles. "what do you mean?" i ask him and he laughs. "forget about it. kaia, i don't want you with him. he's bad for you and you can do so much better. just please, don't get back with him."

"too late, harry. justin and i are back together. i appreciate your concern but i'm a big girl and i can handle myself." and with that, i walk back into the building, leaving harry there as i find justin. "do you want to go?" i ask him when i reach him and he nods. as we leave, i see harry watching me and i half-smile at him, trying to be peaceful. he solemnly smiles back and mouths "be careful" to me and i nod before exiting the party.