kardashian | h.s.

tell me a lie

taylor and jaz sat with me while we waited for the results of the tests. i took three, just to be sure. taylor rubbed my back, while jaz checked the timer we'd set for when we could look at them. i was clenching robbie, my stuffed bunny rabbit, as tightly as my arms could manage. "okay one more minute." she told us and sat down with us in silence. that was the first thing any of us had said since we set the timer.

"you know, kaia. you're going to be fine either way. we're here, and you have your whole family, and at least you're on good terms with harry. you're going to be okay, regardless of what those tests say, you know that right?" jasmine comforted me.

i knew deep down, what she was saying was true, but i wasn't sure in the moment. all i could think about was harry. i didn't want this to ruin harry's and jaylen's relationship. he was happy and he deserved to be happy. it was then that i decided i wouldn't tell him it was his, if i even was pregnant. and then i thought about the media. they were going to make this kid's life hell, just like they had with mine as a kid. and could i even take care of a child? was i ready for that?

the alarm on jaz's phone went off, and all of our heads snapped in its direction. "okay, let's look." taylor stood up. "wait! let me look first." i stood up and started walking towards the three tests we had set up in a line. "ugh, i can't! someone just tell me." i turned around to them, holding robbie even tighter than before.

jaz walked over to the tests while taylor grabbed my hand. she squeezed it lightly, in a comforting manner. jaz looked at the three tests and accidentally let out a little gasp, making me squeeze taylor's hand a little too hard. jaz turned around to face us, "they're all positive. kaia, you're pregnant." she told me with wide eyes, and a small, sad smile, full with sympathy.

i couldn't move. i couldn't speak. i couldn't even breathe. i had frozen. what had i done? "kaia? are you okay?" taylor asked me. i didn't respond. i didn't know the answer. "don't try to make me stay, or ask if i'm okay, i don't have the answer." i sang quietly, still completely zoned out. of course, thats the first thing that came into my mind. i wanted to punch myself in the face. i just found out i was pregnant and i was quoting one direction? i hate myself.

"what?" both taylor and jaz asked me. they had no idea what i was talking about. "sorry, it's a song." i realized how quiet my voice was, and wasn't sure how they'd heard me. they both let out little laughs at that. "are you okay, though?" jaz asked me. i thought for a moment, "i... don't know. i think so." i spoke. it was weird, it was like i was numb in the moment.

"kaia, you can do this. you're going to be fine, and you're not alone. we're not going to let you do this alone, and neither is harry." jaz told me, putting her hand on my back and rubbing it comfortingly. "do i have to tell him? cause i don't want to do that." i asked the two of them. "absolutely yes, kaia. it's his child too. he needs to know." taylor sternly told me. i knew she was right, but i wasn't looking forward to having that talk.

"well how about this, we'll make an appointment with the doctor to make sure we're absolutely certain. if she says you're pregnant, then we'll figure out how to tell harry. but let's not tell him until we know 100%." jaz proposed. taylor and i agreed and i had jaz call my doctor to make an appointment. jaz was such a problem solver. i don't think i'd survive without her.

jaz pulled the phone away from her ear and covered it with her hand. "she has an opening today. can you go in like an hour?" jaz asked me and i nodded. i hadn't said a whole lot since i took the test, i'd pretty much just been nodding my head yes or shaking it no. "okay, that's great. we'll see you then. thank you. bye." she hung up.
- - -
"okay, so..." taylor started as we got back in the car. "are you okay, kai?" jaz asked me. the doctor had just confirmed that i was, in fact, pregnant. she said i was around 4 weeks, which made perfect sense. "i'm having a baby." i said. that sentence was more than i'd said all day. "i'm having a baby." i repeated.

"guys, i'm having a baby! i'm gonna be a mom!" i said again, this time it was in an excited tone. "i'm so excited. i'm going to have a little baby." tears welled up in my eyes. jaz reached across the center console and hugged me tightly. "you're going to be a great mom, kai." she told me. i just hoped she was right.

now i just had to figure out how to tell harry.

- - -
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