kardashian | h.s.

girl almighty

"kaia, can we talk?" harry asked me while we were watching tv. i nodded, worried that he was going to regret our decision of getting back together. we'd only been back together for two weeks, but things were going really well. at least, i thought so. he seemed happy too, though. right? maybe i was just overthinking this.

"i think we should announce the pregnancy. and that we're back together." he suggested. i felt a mix of relief and stress. relief that he didn't want to break up but stress because the idea of that was scary to me. "we can do an interview with someone we're comfortable with, like james. we'll just announce everything and clear the air, so everyone knows the truth and what's going on."

"but why? why can't we just keep it a secret until there's an actual baby? i really just don't think i need the added stress of the media and the fans, pregnancy is hard enough as is, h." i argued. i had no plan to make my pregnancy a public thing, as it was really no one's business except for mine and harry's.

"i get that baby, but right now there's just a bunch of rumors of me cheating on jaylen and if you're pregnant and who's baby it is, and if you're still with dylan, and all of these things. i really just think it'd be best to tell the truth." harry was getting annoyed.

"harry, i don't want to do. why don't you understand that? that stress is not what would be best for me and the baby." i defended, my tone becoming sharper as my patience wore thin.

"and what about the stress of trying to hide it for the next five months? besides, i can't have people thinking that i'm some horrible cheating asshole, kaia." harry shot back and stood up from the couch, beginning to raise his voice. harry and i had never gotten into a fight before, so it was making me uncomfortable that we were getting in one now.

"so that's what this about? it's about you? you'd rather put me under even more pressure, as long as your reputation is saved? what about your girlfriend, huh? what about your baby?" i raised my voice to meet his. i stood up so that we were closer to eye level.

"fuck, kaia! that's not what i mean! why are you being such a bitch about this?" he yelled, and raised his hands to run them through his hair. out of habit, i flinched and prepared myself to be hit. i fell back onto the couch and curled in a ball, with my hands covering my head. "please don't hit me!" i began to sob as i flashed back to all of my arguments with justin that had ended this way, me curled in a ball crying, begging for him not to hit me.

"kaia..." harry's voice cracked. "you really think i'd hurt you? you think i'd hurt my baby?" i relaxed my tense body and looked up at him, to see him on his knees in front of me. "baby, i'm not like him. i'd never touch you that way, ever. did you really think i'd-" his own sobs cut him off. i felt my heart pang with guilt and sadness.

"no, no harry. i'm so sorry, baby. its just a reflex, i'm sorry. i know you wouldn't, you couldn't. i know that, h. i didn't mean to do that, im so so sorry." i cried, leaning forward and hugging him tightly.

"don't apologize, baby. it's my fault. i should've never yelled at you. i'm sorry baby. i should've just respected your decision, instead of being an asshole about it. i shouldn't have yelled at you like that. especially with everything you've been through. i'm so sorry my love." he moved onto the couch next to me. "it's okay, h."

"come here, baby." he pulled me onto his lap and let me cry against his chest. his arms being wrapped around me made me feel so safe. though i was still shaking, it helped calm me down to be in the arms of someone who had always protected me.

i still felt guilty for flinching. i knew harry would never do anything to hurt me, but it was just a reflex now, a horrible habit i'd gotten used to. it had nothing to do with harry at all. but i knew that it was hurting him, even though i told him it was okay.

HARRYS POV

i carried kaia up to my bed, after she'd fallen asleep in my lap downstairs. even sleeping, i could still feel the soft shake her body was doing. my poor baby. it broke my heart to see her like this again, and even more to see that it was my fault. yeah, she said it was fine, she said it had nothing to do with me, but i should've been more considerate.

i shouldn't have raised my voice at her, i know how she gets when people yell. i felt so guilty for making her upset. and over something so stupid. it was all a misunderstanding, but i was so scared now. what if i hurt her? i felt like she was fragile again, like she had been years ago. i felt scared to touch her, for fear of scaring her. it broke my heart that she was scared of me, i never wanted that.