phan one shots

i'm with you

Summary: Dan is there for Phil when Phil doesn't even know he needs him

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of rape

Pale body covered in a thin layer of cold sweat, his colorful green and blue sheets twisted around his long, trembling arms and legs like the fingers of demons ripping at his skin. Eyes closed, so he couldn't see those swimming pools of blue he could get lost in forever, nimble fingers curled so tightly into his soft palms that he left deep imprints from the force of his nails. His ebony hair, damp, spread across his forehead and sticking up every which way in his restless sleep fanning out around his head on his pillow. His long, dark eye lashes covered in crystal like tears, whimpers and quiet pleas falling from his bleeding, bitten lips. His whole body shaking like a leaf as he cried desperately from a dark place inside his mind.

My Phil wasn't okay right now.

He could hear his sobs through the thin walls. He usually stayed up late, scrolling through Tumblr, answering comments, but when it suddenly began storming he grew worried. It was a bad one. Lightning cut through the sky like a knife, terrifyingly close to home. The sky screamed and roared, fighting with itself, and crying tears of anger and pain. For years now, Phil had been terrified of thunder storms. It wasn't the storms themselves that scared Phil out of his mind but the memories that came with them. The echoes of his twisted past he'd desperately tried to bury. With every roar and strike of lightning, with every heavy raindrop pounding against the window, Phil heard and felt everything that happened that night all over again.

The rough voices by his ears, growling sick words as they pinned him against a slippery brick wall. The wandering hands, ripping and tearing at his clothes, grabbing at his body like it was a toy to play with and not his life. The violation, the abuse, the screaming that no one heard because the thunder was too loud. He relived all of it. Even in a deep sleep. So of course he rushed to Phil's bedroom to find the beautiful blue eyed boy sobbing and shaking in his sleep, twisting around and begging for help that he knew never came.

"Oh, Phil..." He trailed off watching him reach out for someone that wasn't there as pleading words escaped his throat all jumbled up and slurred.

"Pl-please...no...stop it stop it...someone..save..save me.."

He felt his eyes begin to burn seeing him in such a state. If only he'd gotten there soon enough, this dark stain wouldn't be on his sweet Phil's mind. He was alone that night, and something precious was taken from him. Those rough hands, those voices, that repulsive invasion of his body.

It made him so sick.

How could anyone ever do this to another person?

Another strike of lightning shot through the sky, and a bout of thunder followed soon after. At the sound, Phil instinctively let out a high pitched scream, thrashing around so wildly he was scared he'd injure himself. His words came out so fast he barely understood them, but as he listened closer he began to recognize one word.

"DAN, DAN, PLEASE, DAN!"

Tears slipped down his cheeks and he ran over to his bed, quickly climbing in next to him. He sat on his lap, trying to restrain him by holding down his arms and legs. However this just caused him to scream louder. He suddenly realized what the position could remind him of and quickly hopped off of him. Instead he decided to pull the covers over both of them and give him the biggest hug he could manage like he always gave him when he was sad. He abruptly stopped thrashing, and although he still trembled horribly, he started to still a bit. Tears rapidly fell from his closed eyes, staining his pale cheeks with the pain and sadness of that night. He constantly whimpered, and he pulled him closer to my chest protectively. The thunder kept reminding him of how no one heard him when he needed them to, so thinking fast, he gently pushed his head against his chest.

"Listen to my heart beat, Phil." He whispered to the unconscious boy, stroking his black strands of hair away from his slightly sweaty forehead.

Despite being asleep, he seemed to hear his hushed voice, as he snuggled further into my long arms and placed his ear against the place where his heart was. There were so many butterflies in his stomach but he tried to breathe normally so his heart beat would be steady and calming. He shook slightly in his embrace and began to clutch at his shirt with his fingers, but he didn't mind. He thought it was quite adorable as everything about Phil was. He still cried silently but he was starting to calm down. His words began to change as our legs tangled together under the blankets.

"Dan, Dan, Dan..." He whispered quietly sounding relieved.

He smiled, glad he could provide any comfort for him.

Phil was his everything and he only wanted him to be happy.

He wanted him to feel all the happiness in the world.

He would never leave him again.

He would never feel anything like what he felt on that night again.

He pulled Phil as close as he could, burying his nose in his hair and resting his cheek against his head.

"Dan...don't leave me..." Phil sighed, almost inaudibly, but Dan heard it.

He stared down at the scared boy in his arms fondly, his love for him so pure and deep that it was almost overwhelming.

He pressed a gentle kiss against Phil's pale skin, letting his lips linger before pulling away ever so slightly.

"Don't worry Phil," He whispered, his warm breath fanning out against Phil's face. "I'll never leave you. I'm with you."

Eyes still closed, Phil gripped him tighter, a smile stretching across his lips.

A/N: Was it good? Bad? Does it need improvement? Please leave comments telling me your thoughts and feelings and thank you for reading. You're beautiful and I love you. Be kind to yourselves, and treat yourselves because I promise you're worth it. Stay hydrated and don't forget to eat! Giving you all virtual hugs!