Back To December.. A Harry Styles FanFic

Chapter 12: Road To Recovery... And Destruction

~TAMMYS POV~

the moment i woke up in a hospital room, strapped to multiple machines with different needles piercing into my skin, i already knew i had overdosed on something. violent memories from my past OD's kept worming their way into my head. My fathers disappointed but still somehow worried face would be nestled in his hands where he sat in the far corner while my crying step mom rubbed his back.i would usually wake up to the telling me how stupid i was and how they were scared they would loose me, but this time a full head of chocolate brown hair, was waiting for me with his head down in a similar position to my dads.

Harry- are you awake?

his voice was bland and emotionless, it made me sad to hear it.

me- obviously

he shook his head and looked at Liam.

Liam- i'll just give you guys some time, and Tammy? im glad you're okay

i really didnt want Liam to leave. i did not want to be alone with Harry. everybody knows how i get when I'm around him. my emotions run much higher than they usually should. if I'm feeling love the affection speeds up by ten, if i'm feeling angry i go on rampage, and if im sad all i was to do is cry into his shoulder while he holds me tighter.

Harry- we need to talk

Me- no we don't, there's nothing to be said. now can you leave i have have a headache.

 Harry- you're a druggie now?

Me- don't you have somewhere much more important to be you blatant asshole?

Harry- the only place i would ever need to be is by your side cant you see that? I'm really worried about you

Me- that actually sounds believable, you have become a MUCH better liar. good job

he rolled his eyes and reach out for my hand and i snatched it away. i wanted to avoid all physical contact with him because i knew what he does to me. but when he grabbed it the second time i didn't let go instead i let him rub his thumb into the back of my hand.

Harry-  i missed you

Me- shhh. i don't want to talk about it

i wanted to treasure this moment for as long as i could

Harry- why did you leave me?

me- i said i don't want to tall about it!

Harry- who are you? wheres my Tammy? you ran away, and you refused to let me in when i found you. you have a child now and to top it all fucking off you overdosed on drugs! who the hell are you?

me- stop trying to judge me! you don't fucking know me!

Harry- i don't know you? i know you more than i do myself. i know you hate mushrooms. i know your eyes light up when you smile. i know that when you love you love full hearted. i know that you refuse to eat the brown M&MS because you think they don't try hard enough. i know you don't have a favorite colour because you want all the colors to know they are each special. i know you eat like a starving pig and have never worked out a day in your life.i know you HATE it when i talk down on myself. i also know you are afraid of rejection. the list goes on Tammy. don't give me that "you don't know me" bullshit.who i don't know is this girl you are pretending to be, i don't even want to know her either.

Me- leave Harry, please

Harry- no. tell me this one thing, what happened?

Me- i cant

Harry- you used to tell me everything

Me- well things change, people fall out of love and in my case get pregnant

he shook his head as if he didn't want to believe it.

Harry-how could you do this to me, we were supposed to start a life and family together, then you went and.... just left me

i really didn't want to explain myself to him, he just wouldn't understand..

Harry- Tammy?

Me- what?

Harry-do you love him?

i almost cracked a smile... almost  because my head hurt like fuck

Me- who?

Harry- your daughters father

it took me a while to reply but when i did he stormed out f the room banging the door. and like every time he walked away he took my heart with him leaving me broke.

~HARRY'S POV~

I literally couldn't find the words to express my emotions right now. i pushed past loads of people including my mom who was worried about how she was doing. when i made it back too my car in the parking garage i sunk to the floor. why do i keep doing this to myself? i put all my trust and hope that she might see how much i love her. if only she would love me half as much as i love her. 

i felt someone sit next to me and i looked up to Gemma, my older sister

Gemma- what happened?

Me- should i give up? i love her so much... but she... she

Gem pulled my head into her shoulder and let me cry into her. i couldn't bring myself to admit that the woman i love is in love with someone else. i myself didn't want to believe it, but how many times does she have to tell me shes done before I move on?

Gemma- oh babes, i wish i could tell you but this is something she has to do on her own

i wiped my face. i just wanted to die. i ignored everything Gem was saying and just tried to put myself into a dark place. i didn't want to feel anything anymore, both good or bad. i pushed myself off the floor and got in my car. i began to drive, i don't know where exactly... probably London. it was a three hour drive but once i arrived at the capital i went on a buck wild downward spiral.

A/N

OH MY EFFING GOSH. IM SO SORRY I HAVE T UPLOADED IN LIKE FOREVER. I'VE HAD THIS CHAPTER WRITTEN WITH NO WAY TO END IT. LOL IM SORRY I WILL TRY TO UPLOAD MUCH QUICKER NOW xx THANKS FOR READING.