Summer Milestone

Rift

Chapter 15

~ZACK~

I dread returning home to Half Moon Bay, and not just because our trip is over, but because it means I'll have to go back to sharing a room with Josh—whom I don't really know how to feel about right now. I did a stupid thing that night and now he knows—thinks that I'm into him just because I wanted to be nice and give him what he really wanted. I was just trying to be a good friend and he rejected me. I know that I saw a look of desire in his eyes; he couldn't have been more obvious about his crush on me and yet that bastard fucking rejected me! There's no way I misread all of his suggestions. Could I have? I mean, first, he implies that he'd rather date me than his own fucking girlfriend! Hell, he doesn't even like his girlfriend, obviously because he's gotta be gay... right? I mean, he practically admitted that he was gawking at my butt. I didn't actually catch him in the act, but I got him to admit it by saying that I did. And then to top it all off, he invites me to sleep with him! And damn, his heart was pounding when my arm brushed across his chest to grab that pillow I didn't even need. But yet, after all of that, when I try to kiss him—knowing that he secretly wanted it—he rejects me as if the idea of kissing me was disgusting. It's not like anyone else was there to see us, we were all alone for fuck's sake! He had his chance... if he even wanted it. Fuck, what if I'm going about this all wrong? What if all of that shit was just coincidental? Oh shit. If it was, then I fucked myself over and probably ruined our friendship forever. Now he's gonna think that I like him and shit, and obviously, things will never be the same. It's always gonna be awkward now, which is exactly why we can't share the same room anymore. At this point, I only have one choice left to make.

When we get back to his house, I crash on the living room couch where I try to sleep for the remainder of the night, seeing as I didn't get any sleep at all the night before. I end up waking up early the next morning and I run into Josh's parents, who are already up cooking breakfast.

"Morning Zack, how was the trip?" Mrs. Crimson asks me as I walk into the kitchen, still looking like a bed-head.

"It was uh... good. Was real fun," I say, exclusively referring to the events that transpired before the night with Josh at the hotel.

"Well, that's good that you had fun. Josh, on the other hand..." she goes on.

"What? Did Josh not have a good time?" I ask them as if I didn't already know, but I have a hard time believing that he told his parents that he had a shitty time.

"I don't know. He's been acting kinda strange since you guys got back," she replies.

"Wonder why," I mutter, keeping up the act as if my life depended on it. No way in hell am I ever gonna open up to anyone about what happened.

Josh's sudden presence in the kitchen sends a chill down the back of my spine, especially when he shoots me the blankest facial expression as he passes me without saying a word.

"Feelin' better, Josh?" His dad, Mr. Crimson, asks as we simultaneously sit down at the breakfast table.

"Yeah, loads. Was really tired last night after all that driving yesterday," he answers, taking quick, little glances at me as I don't bother to look at him.

"What about you, Z? You feelin' better?" He asks me, obviously trying to find an excuse to talk to me. But man, I love it when he calls me Z. No one else does and that's why I love it. Our bond was so fucking unbreakable... or so I thought. Too bad he had to go and mess it all up.

"Yeah," I respond coldly, barely glancing at him.

"So uh... what are you guys planning to do today?" Mr. Crimson asks, sensing the tension.

Josh turns his head to me. "Yeah Z, what you wanna do today?"

I finally look at him then back at his parents. "I'm not really feelin' up to doing anything today," I say, attempting to avoid every possible chance of hanging out with Josh. At least for today... maybe even the rest of the week. I think I just really need a break from him.

"That's too bad," he says, awkwardly staring at me while I don't even bother to return a glance at him.

"Everything okay with you two?" Mrs. Crimson asks us as if she already knows that something's up between the two of us.

"Yeah," I reply coldly.

Josh continues to look at me, not saying a word.

After about a couple of days of literally doing nothing but watch TV and ignore Josh, I eventually receive a text from Erica, asking if I want to hang out with her. And while I told Josh I wasn't really feeling up to hanging out with him today, I figure he'd be pretty upset to find out that I'm ditching him to hang with someone else. All the more reason to go. Plus, anyone would be better than him right now. So I agree to hang out with her. I may not feel anything for her but I definitely think we've become pretty good friends since the trip.

Without telling Josh, I take his bike because obviously I'm not gonna take his car—now, that would be a huge dick move. Anyways, I meet up with Erica at the mall where we walk around a bit and just talk. While I do like her as a friend I feel like it's so hard not to want Josh here. It's as if I can't have fun without him, even if it's with a girl I like. It's kinda like I miss him, especially considering the last time I was here at the mall was when he and I hung out here with Anna before the road trip. I don't understand why it's so hard to have the same kind of fun with someone else.

Fuck, why'd that asshole have to mess everything up?! He could be here right now and this wouldn't be a fucking problem. But now he's a dick and I can't look at him and not think about how he fucking rejected me. Fuckin' ass.

"So is everything okay between you and Josh? You guys were acting a bit strange on the way back home from LA," she asks me the number-one question that I've just been dreading to answer.

I restrain myself from rolling my eyes because that would be rude to do to her, despite how annoyed I am at that question. "Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know. You guys have just been acting kinda distant towards each other ever since that night we switched hotel rooms. Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

I sigh, suddenly feeling the desire to tell her. I know I said I wouldn't talk about it ever, but with her, I feel like I can. "Not a fight but... " My face goes red just thinking about what I'm gonna say next, so what I do to avoid spitting it out is beat around the bush. "... He just... he made me uncomfortable."

"What? How so? You guys are like brothers."

Brothers, huh?

"He um... he tried to kiss me."