Summer Milestone

Tent

Chapter 25

~JOSH~

We sit around a small campfire for the next hour listening to Dakota play his guitar and sing, "Die a Happy Man" by Thomas Rhett. I'm honestly not having the worst time out here with these guys other than the fact that my now mortal enemy is sitting right across from me, occasionally staring at me in guilt. If it weren't for him I'd probably be having a better time but him just being within my presence right now is making me really uneasy and uncomfortable. Every time we make eye contact I just want to punch the fucker in the face and leave him bleeding on the ground just like he did to me.

"Aw, it's gonna be sad when we all go our separate ways in just a couple of weeks!" Erica says after the conclusion of Dakota's song. "I know we haven't all known each other that long but I'm really gonna miss you guys!"

"Haha yeah, so how long have you two known each other?" Dakota asks Erica, referring to her and Anna.

Erica and Anna exchange a look and simultaneously say, "Our whole lives pretty much."

In the corner of my eye I can see Zack looking at me but I don't look back at him. I know he's probably thinking about how similarly to Anna and Erica, he and I have also known each other our whole lives.

"We met in... second grade, was it?" Anna asks Erica for assurance.

"Something like that. We've been in each other's lives for so long I'm gonna cry when I leave for New York next week," Erica says, slightly tearing up already.

"Well, eleven years sure is a long time to be friends with someone," Dakota comments, obviously in an attempt to get my attention.

"Who's your best friend, Dakota?" Anna asks him.

"I don't really have a 'best friend' per se. I treat all of my friends the same, I guess."

"Best friends are meaningless anyway," I interject pessimistically.

There's an awkward silence between all of us after that negative vibe I've sent out. And apparently, the conversation is unable to recover from it as Erica eventually suggests we all just hit the sack.

As I begin to head over to my tent, Anna suddenly stops me to do what she's always done best; whinge at me for doing something that she doesn't like. We're not even in a relationship anymore for god's sake and she still treats me the same. "What the hell was that?!" She nearly exclaims at me loud enough for everyone else to hear.

"What?!"

"He literally came out here and made an effort to try and patch things up with you and you're not even giving him the chance to... the least you could do is talk to him."

"I already told you, I don't want to talk to him, not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever," I say pessimistically despite our previous conversation about trying to forgive him. Guess that's not happening tonight or anytime soon.

"Fine. Go ahead and live the rest of your life as a bitter little rat bastard who can't forgive. I don't care anymore. I did this all for you because I don't wanna see you be bitter about it for the rest of your life, but I can't help you if you don't want to be helped, so I'm done trying," she says, leaving me speechless as she walks off towards her own tent.

I stand around for a while, thinking about what she said, but it doesn't marinate as I still can't stand Zack for how he betrayed me, verbally degraded me, then beat me up. It's just too much and I don't think things could ever be the same after all that happened even if I did choose to forgive him, so what's the point even? To be happy? How the hell could I ever be happy knowing that he's not my best friend anymore?

Pretty soon I give up on thinking about it and I just head to my tent so I can get some sleep. Once I'm inside I close up the zipper but when I turn around I find myself face to face with my former bro. "What the hell? Get the fuck outta my tent!" I exclaim with aggression and a sudden desire to rip out his dreamy blue eyes.

"Erica told me to sleep in this tent because—" he begins with such an innocent tone of voice I almost feel bad for being so hard on him.

"I don't care what she told you, find some other place to sleep!"

"Like where?"

"Outside for all I care." I literally don't show him any sort of mercy.

"How did we get like this? We were bros for years and now you can't stand me." I don't know why, but what he just said slightly cracked my heart.

"You tell me, you're the one who called me a sodomite and punched me in the face," I remind him, fighting with all of my might to keep my emotions in check.

"I didn't mean it, okay? I know you're not a sodomite. I shouldn't have said that or anything else I said that night, and I'm sorry for punching you. God, I'm a fucking idiot! I made so many stupid decisions and I wish I could take them all back... but I can't and I'm really sorry I fucked you over, man."

I don't look at him and just stare at my sleeping bag, not saying a word.

"Could you at least say something?"

I obviously can't control gravity and just let the teardrop from my eye. Damn it, he's only a few sentences in and he's already got me tearing up like a little bitch over here.

"Josh?"

" 'Sorry'... doesn't change a damn thing," I murmur, unable to forget how he punched me over and over just because he couldn't cope with the fact that he's a fag.

"Please man, my life sucks without you."

Haha, so does mine but maybe you should've thought about that before you screwed me over the way you did. I look at him through my puffy, red eyes and simply tell him that I don't care, even though I know I do. I want him back despite how much I hate him. If that even makes any fucking sense! "You threw it all away," I add, noticing tears starting to fill his eyes too.

"You can't mean that," he says with a voice crack.

I don't respond.

"So you're never gonna forgive me? Not ever?"

I look at him and just can't resist giving in to his dreamy blue eyes. Seeing him cry like this, begging for my forgiveness just shatters my heart. I'm literally about to give in until his persistence sets me off again.

"Oh come on, man! Stop being a girl and just get over it!" He says, growing frustrated.

I respond to that by rolling my eyes and glaring at him in annoyance. "I will get over it... as soon as you're out of my life for good."

He doesn't say anything.

"You know what, forget this, I'm outta here!" I say, at last walking out on the conversation literally as I break out of the tent.

"Where are you going? This is your tent," I hear him say from behind me once I'm already outside, but I don't respond and just storm off into the woods. I honestly don't even know where I'm going but it's not like I care, because right now all I want to do is get as far away from him as possible.