Summer Milestone

Awkward Feelings

Chapter 6

~JOSH~

I wake up the next morning thinking about Anna and the things she said. Do I really act like I might have a crush on Zack? I mean, of course, I don't. He's a dude, and I've never had a crush on a boy before, but perhaps I do depend on him too much. Sometimes I feel like I need him around just to be happy or to have a bit of fun. It's like, without him things just aren't the same. But to suggest I have a crush on him is a bit ridiculous.

"What are you thinking about?" Zack asks me as he notices me staring up at the ceiling from my bed.

"Just... do you... do you ever get a gay vibe from me?"

And he immediately bursts into laughter. "You're like the gayest person I know. Of course, I do, all the time!"

"Dude, I'm serious, stop laughing!"

"Okay for real, man? No... but to be honest it's never crossed my mind."

"Remember how they called me your boyfriend at the beach?"

"Yeah, so? They're just messing with us. I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it."

"Yeah, cuz they know you aren't. Me on the other hand..."

"Well, do you think you might be?"

I turn my head to face him, "... No?"

"Well then, that's all that matters. Who cares what those losers think?"

"But why would they think that though? I mean, I don't act like I am, right?"

"No... just forget about it, man. It's not a big deal."

"You're right... screw them, right?" I agree, giving him a fist bump after I move to the edge of my bed.

"Yeah... now come on, let's go to the gym."

"The gym? We haven't gone there in... forever."

"Exactly, I'm gonna help you get started again. Maybe you'll have abs in time for college!"

"What does college have to do with working out?"

"College means plenty of hot girls, and hot girls like guys with abs—"

"—They like guys without abs too, dummy. Looks aren't everything."

"Yeah, but I mean you'll have a better chance with abs, dummy! Come on, you missed your chance to lose your virginity in high school, don't miss it in college too."

"Wait... how do you know I'm a virgin?"

Zack just rolls his eyes. "I literally know everything about you. And I know that none of your relationships have lasted long enough for that to have happened."

"Well... you're not wrong. I don't know, I just... haven't found the right one I guess."

"You will... eventually," he says, rubbing my shoulder as he stands up in front of me. I look up at him and the thought, I think I already have, flows through my mind. Though of course, I'm just kidding myself.

We head over to the gym to lift a bit. And while I haven't done shit like this in over a year, I gotta say it's pretty easy getting back into it... so far. Even though I know I'm gonna be sore like a bitch tomorrow.

We work on chest, shoulders, and triceps today, and while we're doing an overhead press, I nearly break my back and probably would have if Zack wasn't there to spot me. Apparently, my form was... not correct, I guess, so he shows me how to position my body and explains how to breathe so that I don't get hurt. At one point he puts his hands all over my torso in an attempt to position my body properly and just the feel of him touching my chest and all that makes me feel... weird. I don't know exactly but I feel a sense of... warmth? I know this sounds kinda gay but I like it and I don't exactly want him to stop because it feels good. It makes it all the more soothing that he's so... sexy. I'm looking at him in the mirror right now, staring at his biceps and realizing how much they've grown since last summer. How much hotter he's gotten since last summer. Damn, am I lucky to have such a hot best friend.

Shit! That sounded really gay.

"You good?" He asks me, shattering my thoughts.

"Yeah," I say as I feel the cold air hit my chest once his hands leave me.

"I'm gonna go work on my chest. I'll come get you if I need you to spot me."

Internally I say, No, don't go! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! But externally I just calmly reply, "Okay."

When we're done at the gym, Zack and I head over to grab a bite at this burger place we've been coming to since we were like, 12.

"So what we gonna do now?" Zack asks me as he scarfs down his hamburger.

"I don't really know, man. We've kinda run out of things to do."

He just rolls his eyes. "Oh come on dude, it's only been four weeks of summer and we still got two whole months left! We gotta do shit before our time runs out."

Man, he's right. And it pains me so much to think about how we've only got two more months left of summer. "Yeah... that's true, isn't it? Shit, four weeks go by fast."

"Yeah, no kidding... well? You got any ideas?"

After a bit of hesitation, I finally come up with something after overhearing a couple behind me talk about their Fourth-of-July plans in LA. "Hey uh... next Wednesday is Fourth-of-July. I hear there's gonna be some pretty sick festivals in LA that we could go to."

"Road trip? That sounds pretty cool..."

"Yeah, and we could even go to Magic Mountain!"

"I'm sold," Zack agrees enthusiastically.

"Alright, so we go up there this Monday, come back... Thursday?"

"Sounds like a plan."

And just right after we both agree on our road trip, I get a text from Anna.

Anna: hey

Fuck, I can't stand it when people shoot me "hey" texts.

Me: Sup

"Who's texting you?" Zack asks me.

"It's just Anna buggin' me."

Anna: so what r your plans for 4th of july?

Oh shit! I literally just made plans with Zack and if I blow her off she'll probably break up with me and increase her suspicions about me being gay for Zack. I guess I'll just have to invite her to come along even though this trip was just supposed to be for me and Zack. "Damn, Anna wants to know what we're doing on the Fourth," I inform Zack.

"You should invite her to come with us. Tell her to bring that Erica chick." Of course, Zack wants that Erica chick to tag along. Probably so he can get with her. Typical. "... Only if you want to though. I mean, well... she is your girl, I assume you'd want to invite her."

And you assumed wrong.

"Yeah, I guess," I say with a hint of pessimism.

So I tell Anna the truth about what I'm doing for the Fourth and invite her to come with us, and for once she's actually excited about getting to hang with me and Zack, as long as her friend, Erica, can come along—which Zack would totally approve of.

"So Erica, huh? You like her?" I ask him.

He just shrugs as he shoots me a lopsided smile. "She's not bad. Plus I just don't want to be the third wheel."

I kinda wished that that was the only reason he invited her but realistically I know that he just wants to get with her because knowing Zack he can barely go longer than a month without a girlfriend. I guess it's understandable given that he's a guy but I just hate how that means that he's not gonna hang with me as often anymore. It might be our last summer together and I can't bear the idea of him spending all of that time with... some new girl instead of me, his best buddy. I know I must sound somewhat controlling but if this is our last summer together I don't want to waste a single minute of it. I'm gonna miss him so fucking much when he's gone. It'll be even worse if I never see him again.