Summer Milestone

Breakup

Chapter 17

~JOSH~

After searching the house for Zack and realizing that my bike is missing, I've finally established that he's gone... somewhere, even despite the fact that he said he wasn't up to doing anything today. I guess he meant he wasn't up to doing anything with me... again. Fuck, this sucks! For the past four days, he's been treating me like I'm his enemy. He won't even sleep in the same room as me anymore. Now he resorts to the living room couch to avoid every opportunity to see me. We barely talk now and I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to go back to New Jersey in a matter of days. I can't fucking believe I'm losing my number-one best friend of twelve years to my own stupid insecurity. I still can't believe I pulled away when in truth, I really wanted him to kiss me. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if he had been my first and not stupid Anna. Hell, sometimes I wish it was him that night instead of her. I know he's a boy and so am I but at the same time, I can imagine that doing it with someone you truly love would've been mindblowing, as opposed to how shitty my experience was with someone I didn't even like. Wait, did I seriously just think that?! Oh fuck, I already know I love that son of a bitch but obviously not sexually! I guess after what happened I can't help but think about that shit sometimes.

Nonetheless, whether I love him like that or not, I can't bear the thought of him not being my best bud anymore. It's just unthinkable. How the hell are we just gonna throw away twelve years of friendship?

My thoughts are suddenly shattered by the ringing of my cell phone and my heart begins racing, assuming that it's Zack. More specifically hoping that it's him. But it's not. I roll my eyes when I see that it's Anna and I'm tempted to decline but for some reason, I decide to answer. Wish I hadn't though.

"Hey Anna," I say, assuming that she just wants to know what I'm doing... as usual.

"FUCK YOU JOSH CRIMSON! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" She screams into the microphone. Damn, this bitch sounds pissed. What the fuck did I do now?

"Whoa, what's your problem?!"

"YOU are my fucking problem, you son of a bitch!"

I still have no idea what the hell is going on. "Why are you mad at me?!"

"Because you thought you could get away with using me, didn't you, you bastard! I fucking knew you had a crush on Zack, you faggot!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"I'm talking about how you used me as a beard to cover up the fact that you're gay! Zack told Erica how you tried to kiss him and made him all uncomfortable that night you guys shared the hotel room."

I'm literally about to drop my phone. My heart sinks like the titanic and I'm left speechless.

"It all makes sense now. Everything between us felt so forced on your end. I fucking knew it! I fucking knew that you were a fag all along!"

"What else did Zack say?" I manage to choke out since that's all I care about really.

"And that's all you care about?" She scoffs. "You suck, Josh Crimson. Literally. Go fuck yourself! I never wanna see you again."

And the line goes dead.

I literally don't know how to react to that kinda news. I don't really give a shit about Anna but I can't begin to fathom how Zack completely tossed me under the bus like that. He knows that he's the one who tried to kiss me and yet he flips the roles in an effort to break up me and Anna. Who the fuck does that?! What kind of friend does that? Why would he do that? I get that he's upset at me but to take it that far?! Damn, it's like he's trying to hurt me now. How could he do this to me?! I've always had that fucker's back and now he does this shit! I could've told someone that his faggot-ass tried to kiss me but I didn't because I didn't want to out him or embarrass him but apparently he can't do the same for me. Worse, he concocts a lie and says that I'm the gay one and I'm the one who tried to kiss him when the truth is, I fucking rejected him because I'm straight and he's just jealous that he's not. Asshole.

I can't believe this. I can't believe my so-called best friend would stab me in the back like that all because I didn't want to kiss another boy. I would've loved him regardless, it wouldn't have changed our friendship all that much if we both could've just forgotten about it. But no, that asshole had to stab me in the back and start a war. If it's a war he wants then it's a war he's got because when he gets back I'm gonna beat the shit outta him.