unfair play // jjk

09 // childhood

[Jungkook's POV - 8 years ago]

I sat at my desk and read my book quietly. I waited patiently for Hyemi to come and place her stuff in the desk next to mine, but I watched as the clock ticked closer and closer to 8:00 am, the time when the bell rang every day. I watched the door carefully. As each person entered, my eyes lit up, but it was never Hyemi.

Mihyun came in and dropped her bag at her desk quietly.

"Mihyun-ah!" I called over to her, dropping my book and jumping out of my seat.

I stood at my desk as she slowly approached me and slid a paper onto my desk.

"Hyemi asked me to give you this," she muttered, staring at the floor before lifting her hand off the paper and walking back to her desk quietly.

I stared at the page in confusion before picking it up and reading the front.

'Jungkookie~'

I sighed and opened the carefully folded paper, sitting down in my chair. I anxiously tapped my foot against the tile floors.

'I'm sorry.'

No.

'I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this sooner-I'

Wait-

'I was too afraid to hurt you.'

My heart started to pound and I felt my throat start to close up. It was getting harder to breathe with each word I read.

'I promise that I'm not gone for long, only for now, and I'll find you again. Don't forget me.'

I folded the paper again and tears fell down my cheeks. I scooped up the letter and stormed out into the schoolyard, where snow fell through the air and my feet soaked in the piles.

I shivered as tears continued to fall. I couldn't stop myself from crying over the girl I'd loved since I met her, and now she was gone.

"HYEMI!!!" I screamed into the yard. I heard nothing but the echo of my own voice and the whistle of the winter air.

"HYEMI!!!" I screamed as loud as I could.

I heard the door open and shut behind me and footsteps approached me from behind.

"Jungkook-ah!" Mihyun ran as fast as she could through the snow.

I paid no attention. I kept screaming until I couldn't breathe anymore.

"HYEMI!!!" I breathed heavily, my throat beginning to burn from the cold and the screaming.

Mihyun grabbed my arm and held my hand tight. "Jungkook-ah. Let's go, it's too cold to be out here."

I whipped around. "HYEMI IS GO-"

She wiped a tear from my face. "I know it hurts. I really know. But standing in the freezing snow isn't going to change that."

I couldn't breathe anymore. The tears blurred Mihyun's face and my lips and fingers were numb. "Tell me she's not gone."

"I can't, Kook-ah."

I squeezed my eyes shut again and my head was spinning.

Hyemi?

"Jungkook?"

Where are you?

"Jungkook, can you hear me?"

How could you leave me?

"Jungkook!"

Hyemi.

The world once blurred turned into nothing and the numbness faded away. My mind stopped and I couldn't feel the snow anymore. I couldn't hear my own thoughts, nor Mihyun.

She left.

———
[Present day]

I jolted up from the bed and I could feel the cold sweat on my face run slowly down the sides of my head.
I saw nothing but the darkness of my bedroom and heard nothing but the silence.
I sighed and shoved my head into my hands. I rubbed my face as tears fell from my eyes, my heart pounding.
Hatred, the one thing I'd managed to overcome was creeping back up on me. It made the air feel thick and dense. An air around me that was difficult to breathe and it made my head spin.

I didn't want to hate her; I wanted to love her like I did 8 years ago.

I turned my head to see the clock, resting on the small table beside me.
3:25 am.
I turned my head back to face forward and sighed, yanking the blankets off my legs and sliding off the side of my bed.
My feet shakily hit the floor and I slid my slippers onto my feet before standing up slowly to gain balance.
I shuffled across my room, opening the door to the rest of my dark apartment. I took careful steps, being quiet with no reason to be. Nobody could hear me except myself, but a fear overcame me that Hyemi could hear me.
Only the thought of Hyemi made me dizzy and led me to fall off balance. My mind was torn into two.
I wanted to love her but I couldn't forgive her.