Hush

Chapter Five: A Pair of Caring Hypocrites

"What the hell happened to your face?"

"What does it look like, Alexander?"

After texting Lafayette I am supposedly on my way home, I walked to the side of the school where John usually plays with Brutus after class. I expected to see him either laying on the grass petting him or playing fetch, which is exactly what I found. The only thing that I had not been expecting was John's face to be covered in purple bruises.

I may not exactly love his excessive amount of freckles, but I'd choose them any day over bruises.

"It looks like you were being an idiot," I huff as I sit down next to him. I'm not sure if John and I are on the friendship level that allows insults yet, but whatever, he was being an idiot. "Did the fight have a purpose?"

"Define purpose," He avoided the question and threw a stick for Brutus to chase.

"I already did it once, not doing it again," I stared at him for a moment. "You're a hypocrite,"

"Consider me guilty," He sighed, me being clearly the only one concerned about his well-being right now.

"Why?" I insisted.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds. "Why do you care?"

I scoffed. "Because—" I started.

But honestly,

Why do I care?

Because he's John Laurens, I guess. A beautiful borderline enigma I unintentionally found myself being fond of.

This was not part of the plan, and I'm not sure if I like it.

"I thought so," He says. In a sudden move, I turn to him and grab his shoulders in annoyance.

"I care because I consider you my friend," I say, making sure he's looking at me in the eye. "And I don't like seeing you getting hurt for stupid shit,"

John stares at me, looking kinda confused. Like the words I said didn't quite register in his brain. Eventually, he sighs and looks away. "I get into fights when I'm... not feeling great, I guess. It's a coping method, a shitty one that is, but it works,"

"That's not healthy, John," I tell him like the hypocrite I am. We're both hypocrites.

John half scoffs, half snorts as an answer.

I've never heard John do anything remotely close to a snort before and it is the cutest sound I've ever—

Shit. No. Stop.

Focus.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I awkwardly ask. He shrugs.

"Keep talking to me, I guess,"

"What?"

"Haven't you noticed, Alexander?" He avoids my eyes as Brutus comes back, expecting the stick to be thrown again. "You're the only person I talk to,"

"That's because other people are stupid," I say impulsively. "You're not nearly as bad as people make it seem,"

He half smiles at me, his thin lips stretching just enough for a curved line to show and his teeth to be partially exposed.

"Thanks," Is all he says. There's a hint of awkwardness in his voice. But that's okay, I feel awkward too. Just that unlike many other times, I don't want to dig a hole right where I'm sitting and bury myself underground.

No. If it means talking with John, I'll endure all the awkwardness teenage angst has to throw at me.

"We should exchange numbers," I say after a while of silence, accidentally startling John.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Laurens laughs lightly and mumbles something I can't make out. "Maybe,"

"Maybe?"

He shrugs with a smile. "I'll think about it,"

"You make it sound like I'm asking you on a date, Laurens," I joke. For a second, I see John's body get tense, but it goes away just as quickly.

"You wish. I'm way out of your league," He jokes back, but the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

I wanna say something, but when I look at my phone I know it's time for me to go home. I don't wanna risk Lafayette arriving before me. That would cause problems.

After a few minutes of stalling, I say goodbye and start walking to Thomas' house. I asked John if he wanted to walk with me, but he declined.

I have the feeling he won't be going home for a while.

•••

The next day I find a piece of ripped off paper and in it a phone number written in messy but somehow still fancy looking handwriting. I can't help the smile that forms on my lips when I see it. I don't know why I feel so giddy.

Alexander Hamilton: I knew who wouldn't be able to resist the offer

Unknown Number: I hope you know you're gonna regret this

Alexander Hamilton: I'll have you know I never regret anything

Unknown Number: Good thing there's a first time for everything

I laugh and save his number as "Angie", assuming Lafayette would think it's Angelica. Hopefully, I won't get confused and tap "My Dearest, Sister" instead of "Angie", now that'd be undesirably awkward.

If Lafayette were to glance at my phone and see I'm talking with John Laurens, he'd absolutely freak out and take my phone away to throw it at Laurens or something along those lines. In short, I'm only avoiding a catastrophe. I don't enjoy keeping secrets from Lafayette, but I want this. I want John and his silly jokes, his eloquent arguments, his random facts that leave me gagging most times.

I want this. What Lafayette doesn't know, won't hurt him, anyway.