Home || NCT Ten

5

People say that when your lover leaves you, you're left with two choices. You can either break apart or build yourself up. For me, that wasn't the case. I chose the third choice.

The boy who I once loved, he loved me back. But one day, his feelings changed and he left me. I couldn't understand what had happened but there was nothing I could do to change his mind.

I did break down, I cried for weeks. I still remember how much it hurt me. Looking back, it wasn't worth it. I just wasted away my precious tears over someone who wasn't worth it.

After that, I build myself up. One day, I woke up and I realised that I didn't want to be the broken girl who mourned for her ex-lover. I was beyond that, I had to be.

The boy who once loved me, he did leave me but I wasn't alone. I had myself and that was the most important person in my life.

I put a book mark where I stop reading and close the book. My book, it is clear that it is about Ten. I wonder if he didn't read or if he doesn't know that I wrote it after him.

"What are you doing?" Hani asks as she types something on her phone and smiles, "You're frowning."

"And you're smiling," I smile at her as I place my legs on her lap, "Is it Sehun?"

"It is," She smiles softly and I see how happy she is to get his attention, "He's taking me out on a date today."

"Hani!" I throw a pillow at her and gush with her, "I'm so happy for you, you're going on a date after so long."

"We've both been busy," She sighs before she smiles again, "I'm so nervous, it feels like it's my first date with him."

"Baby," I stand up and walk towards her. Engulfing her in a tight hug, I say, "You deserve so much love, I can't even put it in words."

"Hwang Yeji," Hani shakes her head as she fans her face, "Don't you dare make me cry before my date."

"I won't," I laugh as I place a kiss on her cheek, "I am sad that I won't be here to warn Sehun to take care of you."

Realisation hits Hani's face as she gasps, "The seminar! How could I forget that," She runs a hand through her hand and sighs, "I'm cancelling my date, this seminar is important to you, I can't miss it."

"Hani," I whisper as I grab her hand, "Your happiness is important to me. God knows when you'll both be free again but these seminars, I'll hold more in the future and I definitely won't let you miss them."

"Ahh," She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly, "You're such a saint, you know that, right?"

"Of course, I do," I flip my hair and laugh, "You go and get ready while I do the same, otherwise we'll both be late."

•

Scanning my eyes through the crowd, I let out a deep breath. The host was taking her time to make the crowd feel familiar with the atmosphere and was being friendly.

I flash a smile at the teenagers who hold out their books excitedly and smile at me. I can't believe they actually like my book and they made the effort to come and listen to me talk about it.

Truthfully, I still wasn't used to these seminars. I just couldn't accept the fact that my words held such impact for the readers, that it was capable of changing a handful of lives.

I scan the crowd one last time, making myself feel comfortable with the people when my eyes land on a figure who stands out the most. He's in black from head to toe, a hat covering most of face and my book in his hand.

Shrugging off the uncomfortable feeling, I focus back on the host who looks at me and smiles, "As you all know, I'm sitting next to a very famous and influential writer, Miss Hwang Yeji. She will talk about her best-selling book and the hardships she faced while writing it."

This was easy for me. I had memorised what I had to say so that I didn't make any mistakes, so that I didn't speak out more than I should, so that the identity of the hidden lover stays hidden forever.

"Firstly, I'm so thankful to all of you for attending my book reading session and I'll make sure not to disappoint you all."

I hold my book high and smile, "This book, it feels like my child. You might think it's weird to say that but I poured my blood, sweat, tears, all my hard work into it. I cherish it so much and it's just so precious to me."

"The title "I once loved a boy" is the key here. It foreshadows what the plot is, that the main lead falls in love with a boy, who leaves her and she's sad, mad and confused. This book is a journey of how you fall in love, fall out of love and build yourself again."

The audience starts clapping and the enthusiastic teenagers even stand up to give me an applause. I pause for a moment as I take in the praise that my book get, that I get.

"Now, I'll be reading an extract from the book, here I go," I laugh softly as I open up the bookmark and clear my throat, "It was sad and it was beautiful. I fell in love when I didn't expect it and he fell out of love when I didn't didn't expect it. You can't trust love, can you? It's invisible, it's just a red thread that connects your heart to the heart of the person who you love and who loves you back. But what happens when he suddenly doesn't love you anymore? Is the thread cut off? Is it removed softly or is it yanked out harshly? I guess the pain in my heart meant that the thread was ripped off so harshly that for a while, I was unable to breathe."

•

Will be continued in part 2  <3