Home || NCT Ten

1

I once loved a boy.

He was beautiful but he left me sad.

He was my everything and when he left, I was nothing.

I once loved a boy.

He was kind, sweet and he made me happy.

He was my entire world but I guess I wasn't his.

I once loved a boy.

He left me suddenly, without any reason.

He lied to me and broke my trust.

I once loved a boy.

He taught me how to live without him.

He taught me that love was delusional.

I once loved a boy,

and he was the only boy that I ever loved.

•

Closing the book, I place it on the side-table and sigh. It's the first book that I've written and I am proud of it. I can't believe the fact that it has gotten sudden fame but maybe it is because of him.

He left me to be a better writer and I'm grateful to him. I don't want to feel bitter towards him, it's been four years and he's doing great but so am I.

I like to think that he's sits alone and wonders about me. Maybe he even read my book or maybe he didn't. I don't have the answers and I never will.

He went his way, leaving me to find mine.

I get up from my bed and walk towards my roommate/ best friend's room.

"Hani," I barge inside her room and smile sheepishly when I realise that she's on a video call with her boyfriend, Sehun.

"Is that Yeji?" He asks Hani as he waves at me, "Tell her that I love her book although I'd love to know who it was about."

"Thank you, Sehun." I smile at him as I make my way into the frame, "That's for me to know and for you to never find out."

"Babe, that is not how it goes." Hani nudges me as she flies a kiss to Sehun, "Make sure to rest before the award show and don't miss me too much."

"You're hanging up?" He asks in disbelief as I laugh quietly.

"Sisters before misters, Sehun." She smiles wickedly before ending the call.

"You didn't had to do that." I tell her as I place my legs on her lap and smile.

"I know but I wanted to." She winks as she closes her phone and faces me, "What's up?"

"I'm having second thoughts about my book." I tell her honestly as I fiddle with my fingers, "What if he reads it?"

"Yeji, it's okay," Hani holds my hand tightly and continues, "If that happens, he'll know how much he hurt you when he left."

"But I feel uneasy like- something will go wrong and I can't help to think that publishing my book was wrong," I sigh softly as my mind spins a web of all the negative thoughts, leaving me to worry and overthink, "What if he tries to contact me after he gets to know that my book is written after him?"

"Hwang Yeji, don't you dare be anxious. Your book is a total bop and everyone who reads it loves it. The fans don't know who it refers to and if they don't realise that the leading boy is from nct then no will one." She leans forward and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you, you always know what to say." I smile softly, thankful for her presence.

"I know." She flips her hair and laughs before she turns quiet, "If this sounds personal then ignore it but I have to ask, do you still love him?"

"Hani, you're my best friend and I don't mind you asking me this." I tell her as I shake my head and continue, "I don't love him, the feelings faded away. Even if I see him again, my heart won't flutter like it used to."

"I'm so proud of you," She wipes a fake tear before she rubs her hands together, "This calls for a celebration."

"Chicken and soju?" I ask as my mouth waters thinking about the soju.

"Definitely, let's go!" She exclaims enthusiastically.

•

"How are things with you and Sehun?" I ask Hani as I pour soju in our glasses.

"They're okay," She sighs as she gulps the content in one go, "Its just- we're getting distant these days."

Hani and Sehun have been dating since two years. They had been casted in a commercial and that is when their chemistry sparked.

Most days, I am envious of them. Their love has always been so sweet and pure. I want to be in their spot too but when a certain man left me, I started being afraid to love, afraid that I'll end up being hurt again.

"Hani, you're both busy these days but trust me, this wouldn't affect you. You both love each other and nothing can come between that." I try to comfort her as I grill a strip of  chicken and place it on her plate.

"I hope that's true because I don't want to let him go." She stares at me for a while and contemplates whether to speak her next words or not.

"What is it?" I ask her.

"You were- you still are strong because you survived after he left. You became better but I, I'll perish if Sehun leaves me. I'm not like you." Hani grabs a tissue and wipes the tears forming in her eyes.

I pour us another drink and gulp it down, leaving the bitter aftertaste in my mouth, "Hey, I'm not strong. I cried for weeks after he left. I thought I was living in a nightmare but I never woke up from it. I had to build myself again because I couldn't let my pieces be thrown away so I did what I do best, I wrote what I felt. My words bled on a paper and resulted in a book after him."

Hani smiles at me and I see how grateful she is for me. It is the same case for me.

Eyes do speak, they speak the most.

Her eyes tell me that she needed to hear the words that I told her, she needed someone to comfort her. After all, we all need motivational words to survive this cold and gloomy world.

We spend the next few moments in silence and I get lost in my cluster of thoughts.

People think they're weak, until they have to go through a trail. They think that they won't make it out alive but they do. They not only make it out but they put in all their effort to stay alive, however when they come out, they aren't the same.

I wasn't the same and I probably won't be.

Heartbreak, it changes you, for the better or for worst but that depends on you.

•

This is it, the first chapter of home!!

I'd love to hear your opinions <3