Home || NCT Ten

13

"Have you talked to Ten recently?" Hani asks me as I grab a jar of Nutella and add it to our cart, "Lia says he's not being himself lately."

"I haven't," I tell her honestly as I push the cart in the next aisle, "I hope it isn't because of me, that would make me feel really guilty."

She opens her mouth to say something but closes it abruptly.

"What is it?" I pause in my steps.

Did she know something that I don't? Is Ten really distancing himself from Lia because of me?

It can't be true, right? The last time I talked to Ten was when I went on my first date with Hendery. After that, we never met each other, neither by coincidence nor by choice.

It's been 3 weeks and I completely forgot to call him back after I promised to listen to him.

"What else do we need?" I ask Hani as I shake my head, trying to get rid of my thoughts about Ten.

"We need- hell no," Hani's eyes widen as she pauses in her steps.

"Listen-" She grabs my shoulders and forces me to look at her, "I forgot the stove on at home, we need to go back!"

"What?" My eyes widen in disbelief, "Are you serious?"

"Yes," She grabs my hand and starts running towards the exit, our trolley long forgotten behind, "Hurry, Yeji!"

People look at us like we're crazy but we kept on running until we were outside the grocery store.

"That-" Hani gasps for breath and smiles, "was fun, wasn't it?"

I tilt my head and stare at her like she has grown horns on her head, "Hani!" I exclaim, "What are you doing?"

"Having fun?" She smiles at me, "Don't you feel adrenaline running through your veins?"

"I don't," I cross my arms and look at her, "I'm confused as to why you dragged me out here while we were buying groceries."

I start walking towards the car and Hani follows me, "And what about the stove? Why are you acting strange today?"

"Fine," She says as stops in her tracks, "I'll tell you the truth. I saw, uh, Sehun's ex-girlfriend there and I panicked."

"Oh-" I take a step towards her and engulf her in a hug, "You should've told me."

"I-uh, it's okay," She smiles and shakes her head, "Let's just buy groceries another day then."

Poor Hani, she must've felt so flustered when she saw Sehun's ex-girlfriend. I don't know much about that girl but she had a nasty temper and blamed Hani for stealing Sehun away.

I let out a sigh as I chide myself for thinking so low of my friend. For a brief moment, I thought Hani was hiding something from me and that made me feel disturbed.

I shouldn't have doubted her though, Hani would never lie to me.

•

"Hey," I nudge Hani's leg as I take a bite out of my pizza slice, "About Lia and Ten, are they not on good terms right now?"

She chokes on her food and I rush up to help her, "I-I'm okay," she drinks some water and takes a deep breath, "Truthfully, Yeji, they aren't okay right now. Lia says he hasn't been home lately."

Home, ever since Ten left me, I dislike the word, home.

But I was in the wrong too. I had grown accustomed to Ten being with me all the time and I never thought of the possibility that he would leave me and when he did, I felt exposed, hurt and confused.

My home was taken away from me, I was deprived of comfort and trust and that impacted me a lot.

I shake out of my thoughts and look at Hani, "I'm going to tell her the truth about me and Ten. She deserves to know that much."

Hani shakes her head repeatedly and says, "No, no, no. You're not going do to that. If you do, then she will know that your book is about Ten."

"Hani," I grab her hand and squeeze it gently, "I love you for looking out for me but you know what I hate the most? It's when someone lies to me, even if it's to keep me safe. We all deserve to know the truth, no matter if it's horrible."

She opens her mouth and closes it.

I look at her in silence as she sighs, "Even if it hurts you really bad? Even if it breaks your heart to tiny shards and you wouldn't be able to pick them up again?"

Sighing, I lean my head against the couch and think.

Would the truth be better than false comfort? Maybe not, maybe sometimes you need the false comfort, just so you can build yourself up.

But I know one thing for sure, truth always finds a way to come out.

If you try hiding the truth and lie to your loved one's about something, you're shielding them from pain. But when time passes and the truth comes out, they still get hurt. At that time, they'd be more hurt about the fact that you lied to them rather than the lie itself.

That's what I believe and that's what I want for myself, which is why I can't lie to Lia. I just can't.

"Even if it breaks the other person," I begin softly, "you have to tell the truth. It's better than finding it out from someone else."

Hani looks at me and sighs, "That's your opinion, Yeji, not mine. I would rather lie to protect my friend."

Jealousy builds up in my chest as I ask, "Your friend? She's my friend too."

"I never said that she wasn't," Hani sighs as she stands up, "I'm just saying telling Lia the truth will not make her happy. Do you think she will thank you for your honesty? Grow up, Yeji, the world isn't like that anymore."

I sit there in silence as the sound of the tv surrounds me.

Our pizza lies on the table, forgotten behind as I find myself staring at Hani's closed door.

Her words were quite harsh and they hurt me.

Hani was right, I need to grow up. The world
isn't sunshine's and rainbows anymore, everyone is trying hard to survive on their own.

Resting my head on the table, I let out a sigh.

It seems like telling Lia the truth has to wait. Maybe I should just talk to Ten and confront him.

He will understand, right?

•