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8

There are a lot of ways to respond to a confession from an ex-boyfriend and I choose the most cowardly way.

I look at Ten and open and close my mouth. My heart almost flutters by his words and I hate myself for that. It's like I'm betraying my own principles.

"I-uh, someone is calling me," I tell him as I hastily walk away.

Hani and Lia turn their heads to look at me as I rush inside my room and lock the door.

"Babe, are you okay?" Hani knocks on the door, "Can you open up so that I come inside?"

"I-it's nothing," I tell her as I lean against the door and sit on the floor, "I just need some space, okay?"

"Okay," She sighs, "But I'm here for you, you know that. I'll always be here if you want to talk."

Closing my eyes, I cover my face with my hands and let out a sigh.

My worst nightmare has come true, Ten read my book and he knows that it is about him!

"This can't be happening, no, no," I whisper to myself again and again, "Why is this world so small? Why did I had to meet him?"

Tears flow down my chin and I wipe them away quickly.

It feels like my castle crumbles right before my eyes. I had worked so hard, so damn hard. I poured my emotions, I poured myself in the book I wrote about Ten but in the end, I was stupid.

I knew I shouldn't have written it, I knew that there would be consequences but I was stupid enough to continue along with it.

Now even Ten read it and he knows that it's about him. He must be thinking that I'm so pathetic, writing a book over him.

He will tell everyone, he will tell Lia. I- I will lose my friend, I will lose her and many others. Heck, I'll be ruined if he tells everyone.

My head feels like it's about to burst as I think about all the possibilities and what if's, it hurts to think about the future.

"I have to pull myself together," I whisper to myself as I get up and walk towards my closet.

Shifting my clothes to a side, I grab the rectangular box and sit on the floor.

Wiping my tears with my sleeve, I open the box but fresh tears leak out of my eyes.

My hands tremble as I grab a polaroid of Ten and me, it was from back when we had our first date.

We look so happy, I think to myself as my fingers caress the picture slowly.

Maybe if I got closure, I wouldn't be crying on my bedroom's floor while my ex-boyfriend is in my house, taking to my two friends.

I place the polaroid back in the box and grab a letter than Ten once wrote me.

My love,
I can't meet you right now and it hurts me a lot that I'm not there to comfort you. I know you get nightmares sometimes and it's hard to snap out of them. When I'm not with you, I want to you wear my grey hoodie so that it feels like I'm always next to you. I'll make sure your that your sky is never grey, that it's always bright and sunny.

A gasp escapes my mouth as I realise that I was wearing his grey hoodie right now. That is why Ten was staring at me, that is why I felt comfortable in it.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I let out a sob.

I had built a castle overnight. My castle crumbled down after a few months of prosperity because the walls weren't strong enough. My castle crumbled because it was weak and couldn't withstand the waves.

My castle crumbled and there was nothing I could do, except watch it as it turned into ruins and tatters.

One thing I knew for certain, I had to answer a lot of questions now.

Hani and Lia will be worried about me and I feel guilty for worrying them but I can't pretend as if I'm fine, I can't do that when the source of my heart break is right in front of me and he says that he misses me.

Am I a joke or is life playing a joke on me?

For the time being, all I can do is cry and let all my feelings out.

For the past few weeks, after I met Ten again, I was pretending that I was fine but I wasn't. One look at his face and all the good and bad memories came rushing back in, knocking me out of my breath, leaving me gasping for breath.

I should be strong, I should talk to Ten and demand closure. I should ask him why he left me and if he still believes in love after he left me suddenly? I want to ask him why he misses me when he has Lia by his side.

But I won't, I won't ask him anything. I'm good at being silent and I'll do that.

People tell me I'm a good listener and that I have a keen eye but honestly, there's much too do when you don't speak.

And that is why I'll keep on pretending that I'm fine. I'll pretend that I didn't have a breakdown in my room because it's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing that I'm still hurt, that I'm still hung up over my ex, that one "I miss you" from him left me in tears.

It's embarrassing because I thought I was over Ten, that I didn't love him anymore but I was wrong.

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Yeji finally comes clean about her feelings..