Letting Go

chapter 10

Hayden's POV

Seeing Victoria brings back all the feelings I had for her in highschool, I used to think it's a silly crush because I was seventeen and she was just a child. Even at the age of fourteen she was already mature, she handled herself in a way many people my age didn't.

I still remember the smell of her hair, at one point she was late for class and she bumped into me. I was angry at whoever run into me, but the minute I looked up at those eyes, I forgot every bad word u was about to throw at her.
Her hair smelled like summer flowers, I can't remember  smelling that fragrance again ever since that day and now I wonder if she still uses the same shampoo.

As I walk out of her apartment I'm cursing Jamie for calling so soon, I didn't even spend ten minutes at her apartment. Jamie and I drove in his car because he wanted to drop his sister at a restaurant not far from Victoria's apartment. When he heard that I was coming to drop off Lily's things he volunteered to give me a ride because he was going in the same neighborhood.

"Why are you back so soon, I was barely in there for ten minutes" I scowl at him after putting my seatbelt on.

"Calm down dude, what's wrong with te minutes. I thought you were just dropping things off, what's the big deal?"

"Never mind, just drive" I drop it because Jamie doesn't know that Victoria is the girl I used to tell him about.

We drive in silence for sometime, both lost in our own heads."Are you coming over at mine or do you want me to drop you off at your place"

"I have a case I want to go over before meeting with a client tomorrow morning"

I work at a one of the best law firms in New York City, Reign and Green law firm. After completing my masters I got an internship at this law firm and was offered a job straight after completing it. This was unheard of here at the firm, to hire someone who has close to no experience, but they were blown away by my university marks and work at their firm during my internship.

The plan was to go back to Florida after completing my degree, but my mum suggested I do my masters right away. She knew that I planned to open my own law firm back at home, so she thought I should further my studies and learn from the beat before going forward with my goals.

At first I was skeptical about the whole idea, but I must say that she is right. Working with Reign and Green is the best thing ever to happen to me, I am learning a lot from the firm and this will aid in opening my own firm in the near future.

"What's up, you are a lot quieter than usual, are you thinking of Lily." Jamie says just as before dropping me off.

"No man, it's Victoria I am thinking about. Why is she here instead of being home for the holidays?" I know for a fact that people grief differently but one must not isolate from people during such times.

"Mo mentioned something about her wanting to be alone for sometime" Mo and Jamie seem to be getting closer by the day.

"She shouldn't be isolating herself from people, it's not a good way to grieve" I say under my breath.

"Speaking from experience I see." Jamie jabs at me and laughs.

"Fuck off" I laugh along with him. When my dad passed away, I was angry at the world and isolated myself from people. I even stopped going to football practice until coach summoned me to his office one day and had a talk with me. It didn't fix everything but it helped.

"You and Mo neh? Are you dating now" I smirk changing the subject.

"Of course not" the words rush out and if I know my friend as much as I think I know him, he likes this girl more than he is letting on.

"If you say so, thanks for the ride man." I decide not to push, he will tell me when he is ready to face the truth himself, but it's written all over him that he is smitten.

"Sure thing, now get out of my car Mr hotshot lawyer." I give him the finger and go to the elevator.

When I get to my apartment, I think of texting Victoria but also don't want to scare her off. Just because I like her doesn't mean she feels the same way plus not so long ago I was with her friends. I don't want her to think I'm a fuck boy.

............................

It's the next day and I can't seem to stop thinking about Victoria. For as long as I have known Lily and her, they have always been joined at the hip. You couldn't see the other without another. I can't imagine what she must be going through.

I know how difficult it is to deal with grieve, when my father died, all I wanted to do was burn the world. I felt like the world and everyone in it was up against me, my world was turned upside down.  For months on end I didn't want to talk to anyone, I skipped classes, stopped playing football and even avoided mum at home.

It's only a miracle I didn't turn to drugs during that time, mum suggested therapy but I didn't see myself talking to a stranger about my feelings. I mean, how could I talk to a stranger when I couldn't even talk to my own mum or friends.

In a strange way Victoria saved me from myself, her scent smelt like home. It reminded me of my mother's flower garden, and in that moment I realized how much I had been ignoring everything that resembled home. Her big brown eyes held warmth when she looked at me, it was unlike anybody else's. Everyone at school had started treating me with kid gloves, or turning the other way round when they saw Mr coming.

Even my own friends started acting weird around me, Jamie was the only one who took my cold attitude. He would sit with me in silence and play video games, or just come to my house to see if I hadn't done something stupid.

That afternoon after bumping into Victoria, I went straight to my mother's garden where she spent most of her time since dad's passing. She was shocked to see me, but didn't ask me anything. All she did was hand me small garden scissors and together we took care of the flowers.

Mum never asked me what changed, a week after that day, she asked me if I would like to join her for her therapy session and I found myself saying;

"Are you sure you want me to join you?" I asked her.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want you there with you." Mum said looking at me the only way a mother would a son.

I ended up going to therapy with her and many others afterwards, that's where my mother got to know of Victoria. Mum gave me a knowing smile and ignored me when I asked her, why she was smiling like that.

That's why I want to be there for her. I just don't know how to do that, without looking like a jerk who wants to take advantage of her.

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