Metanoia (Shirbert AU)

Oh, How the Tables Have Turned

Josie's POV:

The bell for lunch had just rung and I stood by the lockers with my books nervously clutched to my chest. I've been standing here for five minutes trying to decide how I want to approach her. I said I wanted to help Gil get the girl, but this plan of mine is not good for my nerves.

Eventually, I am able to build up some courage, swallow the lump in my throat and make my way towards her and her friends.

Cole notices me getting closer but he quickly looks back to the group and whispers something among them. Once I'm close enough, I notice that their conversations have died down. All five heads turn to look at me.

"What do you want?" Cole's tone was snappy and hostile.

Anne's head whipped around to glare at him, "Cole, don't be rude."

How can she defend me after all I've done?

I turn my attention to the red-head, "Uhm...Can I talk to you alone?"

Her blue eyes darken a shade, but she looks taken aback, "Oh...uh, okay. Sure."

We walk past her group of friends and just as I'm about to turn the corner and follow Anne, Cole grips my arm.

His piercing eyes bore into my own, a stern look plastered across his face, "If you try anything, I will hunt you down. Just know that if she comes back and tells me you've done something, you will regret it."

My eyes widened in alarm. Words were impossible to use at this moment so I only nodded my head.

"Cole let go, you're scaring him," Ruby tugged at his coat.

He rolled his eyes and shoved my arm away. Once he had let go I scurried away to catch up to Anne. She was standing beside another row of lockers waiting for me. I walked up to her as she watched me skeptically.

"Is this about Gilbert? 'Cuz if it is, I'll stay out of your way." The normally vibrant girl looked defeated, "Clearly, he chose you, so I'll step back," her voice was soft and genuine.

It stung to hear her so broken, but I knew I was the reason. I am a terrible person.

"Yes, this is about Gilbert, but it's not what you think," I nervously played with the ring on my finger. Anne's eyes traveled to my hands and she raised an eyebrow.

"What about Gilbert?" she straightened her stance and her face showed interest.

"He didn't choose me, we're just friends. He loves you, and only you. I hope you know that," I searched her eyes.

"Is that all you came here to say? What about that kiss yesterday, what was that about?" she folded her arms over her chest.

"I actually came here to apologize. It's kind of a long story-"

"I've got time," she interrupted.

"Okay, I'll explain everything. Just promise me that you won't say anything until I'm finished."

She nodded her head, "You have my word,"

I closed my eyes and released a shaky breath, "The kiss that you saw yesterday didn't mean anything. Gilbert and I don't have feelings for each other in that way. I was the one who kissed him and he pushed me away soon after our lips met," I looked into her eyes, "I only kissed him because I was confused about my feelings. You see, when I first saw you two together, there was this...this burning envy in my gut. At first, I thought it was towards you, so in his moment of sorrow I befriended Gilbert again,"

Anne's eyes gleamed with curiosity. I could almost see the gears turning in her head.

"Then as we grew closer it finally hit me. The sudden realization frightened me to my core. And as a last resort to solving my inner battles, I kissed him, in hopes that my thoughts were mistaken. But after it happened, I knew that my speculations were, in fact, correct. I wasn't jealous of you, I was jealous of him," Anne's expression would have made me laugh if it weren't for the anxiousness clawing at my gut.