Metanoia (Shirbert AU)

Gilbert's Confessions

A/N: This chapter might drown you in your tears and/or hatred for me.

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We both sat across from each other on the table. Before I could ask him to tell me what he came over for, he started screaming at me.

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"She trusted you! She bared her soul to you and you just move on like what you told her meant nothing! She's breaking inside because of you! Of all people, I would think you would be the last person to say those things to her!" Cole screamed at me.

"I know," I said sadly. My voice was soft and I was ashamed.

"Then why did you do it? I know she rejected you, but have you ever thought that maybe she's just not ready yet? You were one of the most important people in her life! She finally got you back after the stupid mistake she made, and you push her away like you don't care!" He slammed his hand on the table and stood from his seat.

"Of course I care," my voice cracked, "Of course it all meant something. It still does! But I'm hurting too, Cole! She doesn't need me in her life! She made that very clear! I have caused her more pain than happiness and I can't bear the fact that being around her ruins the most deserving person I have ever met!"

"And Josie Pye? Really? Of all people to get closer to, you pick her?" He looked at me with disappointment.

"What does everyone have against Josie?"

"For someone tied for the top of the class, you're not very bright are you?"

"Just answer the question."

Cole rolled his eyes, "Josie Pye is a bitch, 'Nuff said. But if you still don't get it that blonde demon has been terrorizing Anne for no reason since she's been adopted by the Cuthberts. She bullied her every day, but apparently, you've noticed none of it," he paused, "Even today, Josie lied to you. Anne and Josie accidentally bumped into each other and Josie attacked both Ruby and Anne. You only assumed Anne threw the first punch."

"I-." I was lost for words.

How had I missed all of this? Why would Josie do such a thing? She hasn't even given Anne a chance.

Cole watched me as I processed everything. His gaze burned into my soul and he finally opened his mouth to say something.

"You're in love with her aren't you?" He asked.

I looked up at him shocked at the sudden question.

"Of course I do, I told her so just a few days ago-"

"No, you said you loved her, but are you in love with her? There's a difference, a big difference according to Anne."

I looked at him shocked, "Yes, I guess I do. But now it's over because I have made a huge mistake and I fear that I will love only her for the rest of my life. I just want to keep her happy, even if I'm not the one to do it," My shoulder slumped and I felt defeated.

Cole watched me as if I were a baby bird with a broken wing, "Just be patient with her. She says she doesn't feel the same, but I know for a fact that she is just not used to her own feelings. She needs time to realize what she truly wants and when you dump everything on her at the same time her first response is to run. Fight or flight type of reaction, you know? Just give her time."

I nodded my head, taking in everything he was trying to say to me.

Cole eventually left and I sat in the silence trying to think about what I should do. He basically told me that Anne did have feelings for me, she just didn't know what to do with them. Why couldn't she just tell me she wasn't ready? I would wait a lifetime for her.