BTS Angsts

Lullaby/Hoseok

"Our love is forever, even if you've moved on"

We were just kids, you and I, but that never stopped me from loving you. My heart would always skip a beat whenever your smile brightened up your sweet face. Although we were so young, I knew that this was love.

Our teen years came and boy was that rough. I remember all the wonderful times of us just chilling on the sofa while your mom made us some dinner, or the times when we would both get scared of the horror films we saw and almost get kicked out of the cinema with our constant screaming. But I also remember all the hard and sad times that came with it. I remember you beating yourself up whenever you couldn't understand the lesson, failed a test, or when you would try to silently cry yourself to sleep whenever you slept over. I remember that lullaby that I would sing to you to help you fall asleep. It always worked and I always loved seeing you fall asleep in my arms.

Somewhere around the end of our high school years, we started dating. It was amazing. It was like our friendship but ten times better. We were even more inseparable than before.

That was before I found out that you were betrothed to somebody else. It wasn't your fault either, you didn't know. Besides I could never be upset or mad with you, no matter how bad I wanted to be. We wanted to be together, but in the end I let go. I didn't want to stop you from living a good and healthy life, even if it meant living that life without me.

It's been almost six years since the day we parted. I run a cute little bakery with my friends and we are quite successful these days, but even with all the work, I still find myself thinking of you.

Suddenly a little girl comes to the counter and orders 2 coffees and a slice of cake.

"Silly girl, you can't drink coffee. How old are you?"

She responds, "Its not for me. It's for mama and papa. I'm this many!"

She holds up 4 fingers and starts giggling. She looks so familiar and yet I can't place my finger on it. I decide to brush it off since I need to get back to work.

"Well then missy, it'll be $13.58" I say as I bring out the coffees and cake she asked for

She dug her hand into her pocket only to pull out nothing. All of a sudden she starts to cry and apologize non-stop.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I forgot the money, a-and you already brought the f-food out." She said in between sobs

"Its okay, don't cry." I pull her into a tight and comforting hug and start singing the lullaby that I, to this day, will never forget.

I remember singing this song with her whenever we were down or happy or just plain bored. It never got old, we could sing it on a loop for an hour and it would still never be enough.

I sang to the little girl until I could feel her slowly relax and she stopped crying. I still kept singing even when she pulled away and looked at me.

"How do you know that song? My mommy sings that to me whenever I get a nightmare. Where did you hear it?"

Then it hit me. She looked exactly like...

"Mommy! Mommy! You forgot to give me money so this nice man payed for it! Can you pay him back?" The little girl said running to the woman who had just entered the store

When she laid her eyes on me she said nothing, the only thing her eyes stayed on, were mine. Her shocked expression matching mine almost exactly. I could feel the tears in my eyes that were trying so desperatly to get out, but i forced them to stay in. Her eyes were puffy and she made no effort to wipe the tears that were streaming down her, still perfect, face. We made eye contact for the longest time until she finally said,

"I missed you, Jung Hoseok"