BTS Angsts

Trust/Jungkook

It all started back in junior year of high school, 2:30 pm after school, at that coffee shop two minutes away from campus. It's where I finally found the courage to tell your cute, bunny looking face that you're more than a friend to me. We were young and I was scared you'd reject me because you were still "looking around" for other options, but to my surprise, you said you felt the same.

We spent that year smiling, crying, stressing, and yelling, but we always were okay in the end. I'll never forget the day you gave me that dainty promise ring with diamond-like stones layered in the middle, of course, it wasn't real, but I could care less. You said with a smile, "I know we're young, but you have to promise me that you'll stay with me till I can propose to you." I quickly replied, "Yes, of course!" You slid the ring on my pinky and I jumped into your arms. Your hugs were always the best. I felt so warm and safe in your embrace, the smell of your cologne and clothes always seemed to comfort me.

You were able to be there for me while I watched my grandma, who I loved as a mother, slowly declined in health. She was in and out of the hospital and I missed a lot of school to see her, you were always worried for me, but I reassured you I was okay. My grandma loved you. She said you had a smile that would brighten anyone's day and the warmest heart she's ever seen. You would always offer to help her with grocery shopping or helping her down the stairs, it made me tear up every time. After one health problem followed the next, I knew there wouldn't be much time for her left. I'd just spend my day crying and you'd cry with me and hold me tightly in your arms. I didn't get much sleep on her last few days. She would sleep for most of the day without eating. Her vibrant and lively face turned pale and hollow. You were with me the day she died and held my hand while we said goodbye. She held both of our hands and with the last strength she had in her, she said, "Love till the end," then she closed her eyes and never opened them again.

After she passed away, I realized I had to think about school and was flooded with work. You were too and we'd both curse our stress away while doing homework. We'd have sleepless nights and wake up with bloodshot eyes. We used to have competitions on who looked worse in the mornings, but you'd always tell me, "You're too beautiful to play this game, I'm losing every time." You always knew the right words to say to make me feel like a princess. Whenever I failed a test, I'd be so hard on myself, but you were always there to tell me, "It's okay and everyone fails at some point, just take this time to get better!" Gosh, why didn't you become a poet?

Our relationship was also not always happy, I don't like remembering that part. I sometimes would get angry at you if you stayed too long out, thinking you were hanging out with other girls. You'd reassure me you weren't but I wouldn't believe you sometimes. I'd always yell, "Give me your phone, now." You'd get so mad because I wouldn't trust you. The next day I'd feel bad and try to apologize over and over. You told me that I need to trust you, but I realized I never said yes.

For your 18th birthday, you wanted to try out a tarot card reader who would tell us our future. She made each session private so I couldn't hear what she told you and you couldn't hear what she told me. She said she'd tell us how many more years we'd have to live, I was skeptical, but I was willing to do whatever you wanted for your birthday. You went in first and I waited in the dark yet mystical waiting room. Black fabric covered the walls and star-shaped lights were strung against the fabric. I waited anxiously to hear what number you received and you came out with a big smile. You said, "She said I'm going to live for another 70 years! Wow, till 88!" I smiled, but I just felt more nervous, maybe I shouldn't go in. But soon enough the tarot reader was calling me into her room. I walked cautiously and sat in a wooden chair in front of the tarot reader. She was dressed in all black and I could only see her lips which were colored bright purple. She laid five cards out in front of me and she asked me to pick one. I picked the one farthest to the right and I saw her mouth contorted for a slight second.

"What is it?" I asked nervously. She displayed the card that I picked and it's dark with a raven. She said, "This is a rare card, but you seemed to pick it. I'm so sorry to tell you, but the raven represents death coming. I don't see very long for your life, maybe one more year. Your cause of death seems to be tragic as the card it is very dark. I am so sorry sweetie." Before she said anything else I stood up firmly, the chair fell behind me. I walk out of the room to see you waiting with a smile. "Well?" You asked. "I got 70 too!" I lied. You stood up and gave me a warm hug and said, "We're going to be together till we're old!" I nodded, but the truth stayed with me.

A few months later

We got to college and we were already stressed. I still didn't forget what that tarot reader told me, I started to think she was just faking what she said. I tried brushing it off, but I couldn't sleep at night. I tried to hug you to sleep, but even your warmth couldn't calm my nerves. The sun started to rise and I was relieved I made it another day. I stared at the ceiling and my mind started thinking about how sad it will be when I die and I leave you. I didn't want to leave you, I promised we'd be together forever. I started to tear up but felt the bed moved and you were awake. We both started getting ready for classes but before anything, you gave me your daily hug. It started my day off right. We both dressed ate and sat in the driver and passenger seat of the car. You held my hand while you were driving. I smiled at you and you smiled back. But that was the worst timing of our lives. You didn't look at the road for a second but we rammed into a truck that was going full speed.

Everything was a blur for me. The windows were breaking around us and we turned and flipped violently in the car. I woke up from the crash, hanging onto life. Blood was everywhere and glass was cutting every part of my body. I remember crawling out of the window to find you lying on the road. You were beaten up harder than me and a pool of blood surrounded you. I crawled closer with all of my will and saw how pale you were. You were lying flat without motion. I saw the trucker check your pulse and I muffledly heard, "He's dead." I realized that you lied to me that day, just like I lied to you. Guess I was right not to fully trust you. I looked up to the sky and my last words were, "See you soon." Then darkness surrounded me and I laid lifeless with a smile.

A/n: Wow, we haven't updated this book for so long. Sorry guys :/ Thank you for all the love and support!!