BTS Angsts

Unknown Lover/Hoseok

Y/n's POV

I wake up and roll to my side. In front of me was the sunshine of my life, Hoseok. We've been dating for 2 years now. He's been the best, his personality is always happy and lively, and he's very trustworthy. We are dating but it also feels like a friendship. He's eyes start opening.

"What time is it?" He asks with a groggy voice.

"7:30"

"Go back to bed, it's still pretty early."

"But I can't stop looking at you"

He laughs and then rolls to the other side. Wow, rude.

Hours Later

I start making breakfast for the both of us. Hobi loves pancakes so that's exactly what I made. I hear Hobi get up and close the bathroom door.

Hoseok's POV

I look at myself in the mirror. I look horrible, my dark circles look like they're going all the way down my face. My face looks as pale as snow. Everyone thinks I'm that happy go lucky kind of guy, but in reality, I'm not. I've suffered with depression for almost all of life. People say that depression can go away, but it doesn't. It grows on you, until it becomes you. My only savor are pills. They make me forget, forget all the pain. Y/n doesn't even know about any of this. I hide everything from her, my sadness, my pills, my true self. I grab my pills that are hidden away in the cabinet. I tell y/n that they're vitamins, she believes me, she doesn't even check the label that gives everything away. I know I love her but I don't feel it. I have to fake everything, I have a whole other self, for her and my friends. I gulp down a few pills. Then, there's a knock on the door which startles me.

"Breakfast is ready," y/n says.

I walk out and give her a smile, I can't believe I still know how to smile. I eat the delicious pancakes she made for me. She cares about me, but I can't really feel it. She's taking care of someone but it's not the real Hobi. I thought maybe dating someone would make me feel, feel something besides sadness but nothing worked.

I spend all day with y/n. I buy her whatever she wants, at least she's happy.

Later That Night

Y/n's POV

Today was wonderful. Hobi actually took me out, he never does these days. The only thing was that he was focused on something and it wasn't me. I asked him a few times if anything's wrong but all he said was, "no." I say goodnight to him and shut my eyes.

Hobi's POV

It's about 3 in the morning and y/n is fast asleep. I start writing a letter to her, my goodbye letter. It's selfish, I know, but I need to leave. Not just from her but from the whole world. No one has actually fully understood me nor have I understood them. I walk outside the door, at least she won't have to see this.

Y/n's POV

I put my hand out to hold Hobi but he's not there. Instead I see a piece of paper. I opened it up, it read: Y/n, I never ever wanted to write this. I'm leaving, I probably already left when you read this. I need to tell you the truth, I've had depression since I was 10, it never left me. I don't feel anything, love, hate, happiness, nothing. I've practically lied to you this whole time, please just hate me, it will be easier for you and me. I don't mean to leave you like this but I am. Someone will love you, but that someone isn't me. I'm sorry.

I rush out the house, tears falling from my face. If he's really leaving, I know where he is. I drive a few minutes to our local bridge. There he is, standing right at the edge. I don't even stop my car and jump out.

"HOBI!! STOP!"

He turns around, tears forming in his eyes.

"Leave, please, you shouldn't watch this."

"I'M NOT GONNA HAVE TO WATCH IT, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING!"

I try pulling him down, he won't move.

"I'm sorry y/n, there's nothing you can do."

He steps off, but I grab his hand.

"Please let go."

I grab my phone and call the police.

"GET UP, YOU'LL REGRET THIS."

"No, I won't."

"I..I love you y/n," he let's go.

"NO!"

I jump in after him, I can't find him, it's too dark. I swim deeper but I'm running out of air. I swim up and gasp for air.

He's gone..