My mind is racing everyday
like a train but it never gets
to it's stop it speeds so fast
I feel like my pumping like crazy
I tell my self over thinking won't
help because I'm still suck in hell
but my mind likes to beat me up
as if I don't have enough stress
I try to open my heart and let it love
my mind screams you don't deserve love what you deserve is to be dead in a grave
why because your a decrace I cry so my tears my body begins to shake like crazy I try to calm my self down but sadly I'm breaking down my mind
keeps saying I'm annoying all the time
and if I was silent I wouldn't annnoy anyone
But my friends say it's all lies but its the same lies everyday I wish I would go away for it is bs and pain and I wanna survive this game I'm fed
up of being sick in my brain I feel insane there's no need to feel down when my life can turn around but something in me broke years ago
and I've got no hope I've got no trust and it sucks
I shouldn't be depressed my past has faded but my PTSD comes to play yippee says the past is still real says I'm gonna be hurt again but it isn't true because I'm safe I'm fed up of being controlled by my mind its my life I try to be happy I try to act okay I hold my self together everyday but I'm still broken beyond repair but I try I'm not allowed to die so I just try not to give into my lies in my mind I'm told I don't deserve
To suffer because I'm to kind I don't deserve to feel broken but I do because my mind got broken when my dad broke my heart and left it in the dirt and rain and I had to pick it up and dust it off and make sure it stayed in place but my heart is still inside me the peices are just muddled together like a puzzle I'm not the same
Person I was years ago I'm just in pain and full of sadness but im always willing to lead a hand and be there for others even when I'm not okay because even tho I'm broken still love to share I wish I saw the light but one night my sky turned gray I watched the sun go away I watch my beautiful mind turn dark the trees become back it become cold it became scary water begin to rise it pulls me under sometimes
I'm trying to make my mind see color
but its so dark and gray it can't seem to see the light I try to find the sun I walk around all day but even tho I walk for days it slowly turns into years I've been walking for years my sky is still grey I can't see the happiness all my friends see there sky is always sunny and I'm glad I hope it stays that way forever but I can't help but feel down because I wish I was like that to
I build my castle I put the walls up and I hide my past in a room I make sure to lock the door so no one can see it I then put my pain in a chest and I make sure the lock is locked then I hide my thoughts I hide them in another room I make sure its closed and locked then I go out my castle and explore the world smiling acting okay because that's what I do I build my castle to hide the real me because when people see who I really am they leave me or use me
No one gets to see the real me only one closest to me I'll happy lower my walls for them I know they can hurt me and break me that's why I have a room ready my mind is dark dark place that no one goes to but me I go there everyday I live there but its not a home its a prison
YOU ARE READING
poetry Of Healing
PoetryPoetry is what I write when I don't feel alright its a place I can express my self I made poetry to help my self and I posted it on here so I could look at it everyday I didn't expect people to read it also I don't need help I'm just writing how I f...
