Jokes for when you are bored!

Heaven

1- One day three women die and go to heaven. As soon as they appear at the partly gates they are greeted by none other than Peter who shows them in.

They are rather dumb founded at Peter's words as he opens the gates.

"Heaven has no laws. Just don't step on any ducks."

As soon as the gates open the three women rush inside to me met by millions of ducks everywhere! One woman steps on a duck almost straight away and stands, embarrassed and frightened, waiting for her punishment.

Peter walks over with an extremely ugly man and ties the man to the woman before saying

"Because of your eagerness to enter heaven you stepped on a duck. You will be forever tied to this ugly pig of a man as punishment!"

The other women are nervous now. They manage to avoid the ducks for a while before one of them steps on a duck. Peter walks towards the trembling woman and binds her to the most disgusting, ugliest man ever seen.

"After so carefully avoiding it, you finally stepped on a duck. As punishment you will be bound to this man forever more." Peter, after saying this, walks away.

The last woman manages to live peacefully with the ducks, never stepping on a feather once. One day Peter finds the woman and , with the most handsome man ever seen, advances towards her. He ties the two together before mumbling a few words an leaving.

"Why, what have I done to earn such a gift?" Wondered the woman.

"I don't know about you, lady. But I stepped on a duck."

2- There are three women. A blonde, a brunette and a ginger.

They all die one day and float up to heaven. After entering the pearly gates, they were met with a holy mountain, stairs leading right to the tip were there rested a temple.

"You must all travel

up these 1000 steps and reach the holy temple at the top where a carriage pulled by Pegasus will take you to your new home in heaven."

Stated Peter "However, do be warned, with every step there will be a joke. If you laugh, you will be dropped immediately into hell!"

The three girls began their journey. By about the 17th step and joke, the brunette had been sent to hell after laughing at a particularly dirty joke.

By about the 209th step and joke, the ginger had laughed and been sent on her way.

The blonde however, lasted up to 500, 550, 600, 700, 800, 900, 920, 950 and right to 999 before, out of absolutely nowhere an before the joke was even announced, she burst into a hysterical fit of laughter!

"You were so close and the joke had not even been spoken, how comes you laughed?"

Questioned a shocked Peter.

"I just got the first joke!"

Replied the blonde, rolling around clutching her sides.

________________________________________

Long wait. Short chapter. I know, I know!

I've been busy. I have a new assignment and I haven't been able to find many jokes that I find worthy enough of putting up.

Keep laughing!

..I'm sorry....

Please please please

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-Robyn💎