1- A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'
'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'
2- There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"
The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."
Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, ok."
So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.
"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"
Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"
The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."
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Jokes for when you are bored!
HumorI will try my best to entertain you but can't guarantee satisfaction. Please remember that some jokes are about blondes and others may be sightly racist and stuff like that!!! I didn't make these jokes up! They are from other books, apps, people and...
