sso ki Zindagi

Part - 14

Omkara's p.o.v :

My life is being a roller coster ride , Right from childhood . I was the adopted one . The second in line of the oberoi new generation . I was accepted by mom and dad . They truely love me i can see that on there faces . There love for me is same as shivaay , priyanka and rudra . For me dad even left business . But for dadi i was always the adopted one , the useless part of oberoi's . She never says anything directly to me due to dad and mom but she never fails to taunt me indirectly . I actually fear her . I always used to avoid her thats how i became introvert , always keeping things to myself only . I can see mom and dad's undying love for me but i can also see the struggels . Mom has to take care of the business whereas dad was on a mission to protect me from dadi's cruel words . They both hardly talks to each other , so i decided that i should not burden them more and keep away from them . Soon insecurities started building inside me , i can see dadi loving shivaay , priyanka and rudra but for me there were only anger in her eyes . Although shivaay was always there for me  but still we were not that close probably because i was always the one who wants to stay aloof due to my insecurities . I always used to feel myself inferior to rest of siblings . I still remember i was 18 when i joined my  college . There i met a girl . Her name was GAURI SINGHANIA , She was totally opposite of me . If i was insecure , she was confident . She was everything that i always want to be . Smart , confident , kind hearted , sensitive . Soon we became friends and within no time we started dating . She proposed me and i said yes ....

Gauri was the ray of light in my life .
during that time dad and mom  has to leave for an important meeting . I was very content in my life , because of gauri for the first time in my 18 years of life i was feeling good about myself . But as soon as mom dad left dadi started taunting me on my face she used to insult me infront of everyone . I can see the servants mocking me . I was barely 18 and was not in my right frame of mind , i need to escape the situation so i started taking drugs . Nobody was aware about my this habit . Slowly slowly i started realising how worthless i was , to escape certain situation i adapted one of the deadliest habit . But it was too late to realise i was already an addict . So to save gauri from myself i broke up with her giving her the lamest excuse . After that day i never saw gauri i knew i broke her trust but my insecurities were too high to let me think straight . I missed gauri truely she was my first and last love . Shivaay came to know about my addiction when i was 20 . I was loosing myself to drugs , resulting in my bad health . He confronted me , he was mad at me for the first time i could feel my brother's concern for me , he was terrified for my health . He immediately admitted me to a rehabilitation centre in london and informed mom and dad that he has joined me in some masters course in london making them relax . He was there for me , those 6 months were terrible for me and for shivaay but after 6 months i recovered , he made me promise on my mom and dad to never take drugs again i obliged . We were back to india i tried very hard to confide myself to shivaay but something always stops me . Then one day came my angel in disguise ANIKA . she was only 18 years old . She was so naive so innocent then i saw the same hatred in dadi's eyes for anika too . Immediately i was alert i promised myself that i will never let her feel the same . From that day anika became my source of living i found out i can confide to her probably because i could relate to her . She became my source of energy , my best friend . She pushed me achieve my dreams and because of her i became a painter . She saved me from my nightmares , my demons and made me a better person . Years pass but still there was an emptiness in my heart . I heart always yearns for gauri but i knew she will never be mine . On my exhibition day i was overwhelmed by my families love and support , but there i met my past , my gauri again . She is changed , she has become tough . I tried talking to her but she refused to even acknowledge me . I deserve it i know but it hurts a lot . To distract me rudra took me to club . For sometime i was distracted but again i met gauri there . I cant take her accusing eyes . How could i betray her , self loathing came back to me .