Results of a Restless Mind

stretch (A spoken word of sorts)

You can't make something fit. No matter how hard you want it to. If you go to the store and you find a size four t-shirt and you are a six no matter how much you try you will not fit. No matter how much you think, i want this to work, it will not change the way it is made for you. But even, even if you stretch it beyond how it was made and somehow get it onto your body, nothing will have changed. Because though it may be on you now. No matter what angle you turn at no matter how much you shift the fabric it will. Not. Look. Right. It will be too small and easy to break it will have no more room to take you and all your wants and your needs because it spent that space trying to fulfil your first dream. But are you satisfied? No. But now you can't just let it go. Take it off, find another shirt to try, maybe make sure this one is your size. Because those seams are still broken. The fabric is still stretched. The stitches come loose. And when it came to fitting, it didn't get to choose. Maybe it wanted so badly to fit to your shape and thought to itself as you ripped it carelessly, just one more stitch that'll be all it takes and when i finally fit they'll never throw me away. If i endure all this pain then surely they'll take care of the one thing that they didn't break. But now it sits on the return shelf and like the rest of the clothes that didn't work out is broken and torn because they tried to be the size and the shape they thought you needed them to be.

You can't make something fit. No matter how hard you want it to. If he comes home one day and something doesn't feel right, how he keeps you pleased through the night will not fill the gap that used to be him. No matter how many flowers and kisses how many late nights and declarations of how they feel, you cannot force yourself to stretch to their expectations while they think its fine, this is how they show love. But love is not stretching. Love is not trying to fill a void by tearing at your stitches so the other can be satisfied. love is growing. Love is seeing a space and acknowledging it's there. It is looking into their eyes and wanting the spaces. And not the fullness. It is understanding that some people take different times to grow like a seed that was planted a long time ago and just hasn't had the amount of sun that the others have in the row, but I promise you. When that flower does have that sun that it needs it will rise above the trees and, love, the sky is the limit. It is telling them that you know we all grow in different ways and in different times and you will love them until their spaces match yours and your fullness matches theirs. 

But if they can't grow with the sun that you provide. You need to understand its okay to say goodbye. To know you are not right for each other. Because... you cannot be good for someone. No matter how much you want to be. If jigsaw pieces don't fit, then the puzzle cannot be complete. And sometimes love is saying goodbye. Acknowledging they need someone else's sun. Knowing love is giving them room to watch them grow. And loving the flower they become even more.