It's shitty, I guess, to write about love
When people I love don't nearly have enough
And no matter what you do you can never fill them up
Is not a glass half empty, there isn't even a cup, you see
I read their anguish and feel their story
But my heart can never really beat for them because
I haven't known that cold shoulder
Or the long sleepless nights, waiting for a text just to know that
they haven't killed themselves by
drinking their self hate away and sleeping with god knows who,
I've never had to feel the way when
All you want to do is love is love is love them
But they can't accept that because they need to grow
and while you would happily let them grow they've decided the best way to do that is to let go.
I only know the look in his eyes
When he tells me that with me he can't lie
When he lets me be clingy and jealous and outspoken
When he stares at me like I'm not even a little broken
When he whispers his soul in the space that is us
When he makes me feel like I am enough.
I do not know the emptiness that comes with heart ache
I only know the emptiness of seconds waiting for him to wake
Or to come out of class
Or to kiss me
Or cuddle me after a long hard day because
I am secure in the fact that we are okay but
To the one I love
My friend
I am sorry
That you couldn't be living my fairytale story
But you are beautifully broken, love
And never be mistaken
You shine brighter than ever with your scars and your brave soul
If he can't treat you like God knows you deserve
Then let him have his pity drugs, his emptiness and his girls
Because he does love you, deep down inside
But he's trying to fix himself for you
Maybe he doesn't know how
But until he figures himself out
And gives you his heart as a home
You can live in our house
The house that has no windows to keep out the light
Where your love will hold you and stay all night
So often I forget that I got lucky
So often I forget that others are suffering
The way he holds me I'll never forget
Like every second is a moment he'll never regret
Someday, love, someone will hold you that way
Someday, love.
Someday.

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Results of a Restless Mind
PoetryA book of poems created by a sleepless mind and an open heart "I'm sorry that my heartbeat is louder than my thoughts." Completed 11/8/20