So It's You

SIY 17: 411 days before separation

Hindi makapagconcentrate si Edward sa sinasabi ng professor nila. He is too preoccupied with his thoughts kaya hindi na nya namamalayan ang nangyayari sa klase. Hindi nya alam na meron palang graded recitation. And because of his absentmindedness, unfortunately, he was called.

He stood up. And their philosophy professor asked the question. The answer was at the tip of his tounge. It was just discussed a while ago, but because his mind was wandering somewhere he couldn't recall it.

As if it's already programmed, he gestured at his right side, and whispered softly but loud enough to be heard by the one beside him, "Maymay, help me."

But the panic inside him was broken when a different sound of voice, spoke. "Ad Hominem ang sagot."

He looked at the source of the aound and saw Aimee instead of Maymay. Right, he was really sitting beside Aimee. Now that he can recall, he even greeted her when she sat down beside him. How could he forget that?

He answered correctly thanks to Aimee, but still the teacher reprimanded him for being too absentminded in her class. He mumbled a soft thank you to the girl beside him.

But again despite his professor's warning, his mind wandered but not freely. His mind was wandering and  on the fact that he mistakenly called Aimee Maymay. And it's because it's been a month since he started to keep his distance from her, but he is finding it hard to cope and keep up with it. It's like his body is very used to be beside her, that's why even if he was entirely aware he is seating beside another girl, he unconsciously called her Maymay.

He catch a glimpse of her, sitting two rows behind him. She was paying full attention probably because she's also getting nervous being called. He suddenly felt a stinging pain in his chest. Looking at her, reminds him of his foolishness of choosing to break their friendship, and of how her eyes was full of sadness that night when he went to her house to tell her his goodbyes.

Then, at once a sudden realization hit him of how Maymay was left behind by his father, and now he was the one who did. How stupid of him! Why haven't he realized that sooner? It felt like he was splashed with an ice cold water. Mount of regrets bombarded his thoughts, and regrets he can now do nothing to change. Words are already thrown, and can't be taken back, decisions were already made.

His internal dialogue filled with him detesting himself was interrupted when he saw Maymay met his eyes but quickly looked the other way. Now, his chest was throbbing. It was not just a stinging pain anymore, it's a throbbing pain that gets worser than he ever thought.

The whole class, his mind was preoccupied. Thankfully, wala silang quiz because if they had one, Edward is one hundred percent sure he would flunk.

After that class was dismissed,  dali daling tumayo si Edward. He saw Maymay immediately went out of the room. Hindi na nya kayang tiisin pa, wala naman si Heaven. She wouldn't see kung makikipag-usap sya kay Maymay. It would not be a problem.

Pero paglabas nya, wala na si Maymay. Mabilis itong nakalayo.

Maymay, on the other hand, sinadyang bilisan ang pagkilos nya. She almost died a while ago when she caught Edward staring at her. Sobrang effort na nya wag pansinin ito, at ayaw pa nyang mahirapan pa kung magkasabay pa sila palabas. Tinext nya si Ricci na may one hour lunch break sya ngayon at tinanong nya kung pwede silang magkita. Pumayag naman ito.

Edward's keeping his distance from her for a month gave her an indirect yet straight to the point answer for her--that he chose Heaven. Pero, even before that she already decided na lumayo na even if it's so hard for her para hindi na rin mahirapan si Edward sa pagpili.