seahorses and crabs

Nightmare Scare

Karkats pov:

I open my eyes, the sound of my alarm going off was muffled. Sitting up I groan and stretch, a few bones clicking and a sigh of relief exists my mouth. I look at my clock, 8 am? I'm sure it's a Saturday. Looking around I realise my room didn't look like my room, it was pitch black, like I was floating. Panting, I get out of bed and realise I'm in my casual clothes and not my pj's. My bedroom door appears infront of me and I walk to it, but it doesn't get closer. I try running and it's still infront of me like I haven't moved an inch. Slightly scared now I keep trying to get to my door, suddenly the door falls from under my feet, air rushing past me and the sound of my heart rate echoes in my ears.

Eventually I hit solid ground, unfortunately I land face first. Groaning and trying to get back air that was knocked out of my lungs I look around and realise I'm in a hospital room with no door. No one in it except someone in the bed. No.... Not someone...

Me

Just then as I realise who it was in the bed, my replica shoots up from the bed but restraints suddenly appear around my chest arms and legs. I was screaming at myself

"JUST DO IT ALREADY YOU PUSSY?! YOU HONESTLY THINK IT'S THIS EASY TO STOP?! QUIT FOOLING YOURSELF, YOU DON'T MATTER! YOU'LL START AGAIN AND THIS TIME NO ONE WILL HELP YOU! THEY'LL THINK YOU'RE DOING IT FOR ATTENTION, THAT YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES! JUST FINISH THE JOB YOU COWARD!! "

I stagger back and hit the wall, staring in utter shock and fear at this version of me. After a couple more insults the copy just flops back onto the bed like nothing happened. I start looking around for some sort of explanation. The only thing I could see were posters on self harming. My heart racing I look towards myself in the hospital bed, I looked weak and frail. My eyes had bags under them, my face was pale and my hair was messy. Slowly walking towards myself as if I was going to burst out the bed, I look at my arms.

I feel sick to my stomach as I see more and more cuts going down the way instead of across. I feel faint, utterly disappointed and confused with myself. Why did I do it, is this real?! Have I died?! My mind races but I'm snapped out of it when I hear faint crying. Just then a door appears in the room and I run to it, this time I get Close and run out the room. Following the sounds of crying I head to the waiting room where I see eridan in a fit of tears. My heart shatters as I go to him slowly, he was muttering something about how he should have stopped me and how horrible of a friend he was. I was about to say something when I realised I couldn't speak, desperately trying to soothe eridan but nothing coming out of my mouth.

Everything then starts to fade to black and little clips and videos of my friends and family start appearing and playing. It was like they were from a universe where I didn't exist, they all looked so happy and they were so far in their lives without me. I cover my ears and shut my eyes tight. No! This isn't how their life would be without me!

"im valued, I'm wanted, I'm needed, I'm loved and I'm important" I say, it was something me and kankri had started to do when I felt like I wanted to cut. I repeat it over and over again, trying to convince myself that it's true, and it is! I rock back and forth, repeating and repeating myself.

I jolt up and look around, breathing heavily. I was in my room, sollux was there on the spare bed and just was in mine in my pj's. I roll up the sleeves and inspect my arms

Nothing new, thank god.

I sit up and hug my legs, closing my eyes and going over what happened in that terrible nightmare. I focus on my breathing and clear my head, I hadn't even noticed that I had tears running down my cheeks. When I open my eyes I look at my alarm clock, 3:30 am. I should get to sleep again, but after that nightmare.... I feel like I should get a drink or something.

Putting on slippers and sneaking past a snoring sollux, I exit my room and head to the kitchen. I pause when I hear something moving around downstairs, heart starting to race again but keeping my cool, I quietly and slowly go down all the way to the bottom of the stairs. The noise was coming from the kitchen and I turn my head around the corner, my heart instantly calms down when I see a familiar body shape

"bit early for a snack don't you think kankri?" I smirk and lean against the frame of the door. Kankri gives a little yelp and almost drops a cup

"goodness karkat you startled me, and I wasn't getting a snack I was getting myself a drink" he says as he straightens up and gives me a playful glare.

"same here, pour me one please?"

"oh alright" he smiles and reaches for another glass, then pouring some milk into both

He hands me my cup and I thank him, he smiles and gives his usual polite "your welcome" and drinks from his glass.

After downing my cup I look at kankri

"so... Why are you up so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing"

"kankri come on, what were you texting cronus?"

"no he went to bed 2 hours ago" he says and I chuckle a little

"but to answer your question, Im up because I was thinking about him and our past"

"that's so cliché" I smirk and he rolls his eyes

"and why were you up, hmmm?"

"..... Nothing

Just a nightmare"