Just Ten Days

I wanna know you

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Confusion? Even if he denied it a lot of times this was all he had been facing in past years. Only and only utter confusion. Omkara was confused about his marriage; his wife; his relationship and almost everything that was related to Gauri in any way. He sees a dutiful wife in her but is not still able to forget that cunning Swetlana that he saw six years back in Bareilly where everything started. He knew he had to move on, but it did not seem to be happening. As much as he tried; he would again end up being messed up.

He knew he had said many harsh things. He knew he had not supported her in need. He knew he had not been there when he had to be. He knew that he never really gave that 'wife' name to her in public; no matter how much anyone believed it as a truth. He never accepted it, he never realised that eventually those pleadings; those unanswered questions; those ignored requests that she did, must have been affecting her too badly to be taken effect.

All he did realise was that he was doing it all right. According to him; Gauri was bound to be taking the pain that probably Jhanvi Thakurain must have a beard because of her. Eventually, these six years daily watching her, even if she did not notice, made his heart believe somewhere down, that she was not what he thought of. Somewhere he did know that probably he was thinking in a more wrong way; but then why?

Why would she do the things that she had been doing at that time? Why was she so close to Kaali knowing that he ultimately had a wife? Why did she agree to marry him, when she wished to run away without a single penny in her hands? Why would she be so unpredictable that one time she seemed black while the other made him believe that she was an angel? He fought... a huge fight that was still in my mind. It was more like a battle between his beliefs and his eyes, a battle between his heart and his eyes. In this battle, he had lost living these all years with the woman he was supposed to live with.

She stirred and gently rubbed her eyes like a little kitty before he heard a small sound and she snuggled even close to his warmth. At this moment; he was just doing what he was expected to do.

He was like a medicine as the doctor told him. It wasn't out of love; it was out of courtesy to a woman who has played his wife all these years and maybe to the mother of his child. It made him think that probably saying that a kid brings the parents closer was right; because he started noticing her only when he heard that he was about to be a father.

But now, for him, she was not just a simple relationship; she was important like everyone else in the family. He would have done it to any member who needed him. Confusing; yes!!! He sighed.
"Hey" Shivaay entered the cabin; whispering. "Hii," he said in the same tone. "How is she?" Shivaay asked pointing his finger at her. He shook his head with his lips pressed and then closed his eyes for a moment enough for Shivaay to realise that she was not at all okay. "Wait I am coming out" he said and Shivaay went out. He slowly got up and removed her arms from him and gently placed them on the bed. He adjusted the pillow and the covers over her body and took an exit not before glancing at her once more.

"Now tell me" Rudra asked desperately. "One minute, why are you here?" Omkara raised a bow. "I came to see her, now tell me what is happening... Now" Rudra demanded. "I don't know myself" he sighed loudly. "What do you mean by you don't know? You are the only one who is here since she is there, how come you don't know?" Rudra asked. "I don't know means that I am not able to understand myself now. I just don't know what is happening to me" he rubbed his forehead. "Who asked about you? I asked about her... Get up O... sleep is over" Shivaay and Omkara glared at Rudra. "Okay... that was not good" Rudra shrugged off.

"What happened Om?" Shivaay asked in a low tone. "I just don't know Shivaay; and as much as I try to register all of it in my mind, I end up being more pathetic there" he took a breath. "Doctors said she had a tumour in her brain that had to be cured immediately; but when I talked to her; I came to know that she knew about all of this. And her words make me scared. It is like her life is not worth living to her anymore. Like she is somewhat fed up with all this" he was cut.