A Leap Of Faith. (A JacksepticeyexReader Fanfic)

Talk with Mark

  You'd gotten back to your apartment and collapsed in on yourself the instant the door had closed. Emotions seeming to flow from nowhere and everywhere. Frustration causing your fists to ball and eyes to pool, Butterflies cause your heart to pitter patter and your stomach to flip, Lust causes everthing below your hips to tingle, Confusion causes a piercing headache. Guilt pinches your lungs for any air you had..

   Soon you find yourself a puddle of emotional wreckage in front of your front door, crying, beating a fist into the floor and groaning curses to yourself, you're suddenly glad you dont have downstairs neighbors. How the fuck is this such a big deal?? You didnt even kiss. You're being over dramatic, or so you try to convince yourself. But denying the feelings you have only cause another wave of emotion, like it's waiting to bubble up from a dark little hole somewhere inside youself where you refuse to explore.

You gather yourself with a shakey breath, dragging youself to your bed to curl up into it and hopefully disintegrate into it while you sleep. It isnt bed time by any means, hell, barely dinner time, but being an over emotional wreck takes it out of you.

 
About an hour later you're awakened by the sound of grunting, cursing and sounds of pain and distress.

"OWE! Fuck, how do I- I'm gonna fucking die... ok ok I can do this, just gotta, Yup yup ok ok, Owe, fuck that was my knee. Ok, now to just get in the window." You hear, seeming to come from outside.
You roll over, turning to look outside your window to see a familiar face sliding cautiously into your room. You sit up and toss the blankets off your legs

"Mark, what the hell are you doing?" You ask, sleepiness calming the question as if you'd asked it through a sigh.

"I said I'd come in through the window next time I came over." He responds, sitting himself in your desk chair, lacing his fingers behind his head victoriously. "Although, to be perfectly honest, I will probably never do it again, ever." He says, unlaching his hand briefly to jut out his hand as if to cut off the future of his attempts.

"I said to come through the livingroom window." You remark snarkily, rubbing your eye with an unamused smile.

Mark looks down at the floor bitterly. "I got disoriented on the roof.." he admits defeatedly.

"What are you doing here though?" You rub your sleep stiff neck, wondering how long youd been out. You still need to upload and edit todays footage....

"Checking on you. Something was wrong when you left, and you didnt want to be there to talk, so I came here." He says as if its obvious, leaning forward, placing his elbows on his knees.

  Your eyes glue to the floor by his feet, trying to find a way to put the mess into words. Before long, you hear him speak again.

"Is it something to do with Jack?" You nod.

"I knew it!" Mark suddenly stands up from the chair in front of you. "Did he do domething? Did he hurt you? Do I have to hurt him?" He asks, pacing slightly before walking over to your door.

"No, no no Mark its nothing like that." You assure him, holding out both hands to settle him. "Its more me than anything.." you admit in a mumble. Mark takes a seat at the foot of your bed, twisting to look at you.

"Well then talk to me about it Leapfrog." He smiles at you encourgingly.

  You start off by telling him about the whole day, starting with the parkour, the training, hurting your leg a bit further, Jack ignoring you on the ride back, how that bothered you, you sticking around for a Q&A, him kissing your scar, the feelings that followed after, him kissing your shoudler, and how that made you feel, then finally the thigh. You took the most time trying your best to explain the things you felt but it starts sounding like a mess again, causing you to get slightly frustrated with yourself. You drop your head into your hands with a long groan before pushing your hands back through your hair, Mark reaches over and takes your shoulder comfortingly.

"Well me thinks you got a bad case of the feels." Mark says like some kind of quack, shaking you slightly, patting your shoulder. You shrug away from his grip and mean mug him.

"Not helping." You mumble, turning your back to your bedframe to lean against it.

Mark bites his lip thoughtfully. "Alright if its serious advice you want, how bout this, dont think so much about it. The more you think about, the more you're obviously going to feel and the harder it'll be. So try acting around him like you do around me and maybe all the unwanted poison feelings will go away." He tries, flicking his head into a sort of shrug.

  Mark never understood your need to keep people so far away emotionally. When you told him you moved away from home to avoid your parents constant checking up and checking in, it really threw him for a loop. Its not that you dont adore and cherish your parents, its just that you couldnt handle whenever you were injured that they would cry for you and whenever you were sad, they were always sad for you, causing you to feel more sad. You love them, but they werent good for you. You hold everyone at arms length just so that when things happen to them, you can be kind, but dont need to share in their emotions. And while it may seem selfish, its prevented a whole lot of heartache thus far. The only exception to your whole arms legth rule is sitting in the room with you, and even then you keep him in a friendship corner, not that hes ever tried to leave.

"Hes not you though, Mark. I let my guard down around you." You say, looking up at your best friend lostly.

"Exactly. You dont have to think around me. You just are. So try and just Be around him. You havent fallen for me doing that so I mean-" he pauses dramatically looking up at you with faux horror. "You havent fallen for me have you?" You throw a pillow at him.

"Im kidding. I mean it might work. Its the only advice I have other than just letting it happen and seeing what happens. I think honestly it'd be adorable, the two of you. And theres gotta be a reason he makes you feel the way he doe-" you throw another pillow at him, this time slightly harder.

"Right, right, not helping. Sorry." He apologises, fixing his now ruffled hair. He stands from the edge of your bed, looking around your room for a moment.

"Wanna go game with me for a bit, Lovebug?" He grins evily.

"Thats it," you snap with a grin, leaping out of bed, Mark takes off but you chase him out into the livingroom, landing light and well deserved punches on his shoulders the whole way.