A Leap Of Faith. (A JacksepticeyexReader Fanfic)

Social Media Sucks 2.0

  Your walk yesterday didnt take your mind off of him. You miss him like fucking crazy and its only been a day. God if you miss him this bad over a day, what will it be like when he leaves?

  You plop your miserable self in front of the computer. Yesterday after you got home, you recorded a video simply titled Leap, and are slightly curious to see the reaction to it. The whole video consisted of you sitting in front of the camera, and talking about the sensations you get when you go out and run. For effect you added in some clips of you performing the stunts in super slow motion.

  You scroll through the comments on your video but just find a load of questions about why you werent outside, and asking where Jack went. You suddenly feel worse than ever. Even your fanbase noticed the difference in you, and even they want him around... but you cant have that. You need to distance yourself.  You need to dig out the hooks before they tear away the flesh when he goes...

  Your phone buzzes on the bed, tearing your attention away from the war in your head and chest. You lean in your chair to reach over and grab it. It hasnt been of much use lately, what with all your music sounding poisoned because most of them were love songs. And Jack has texted on occasion. He texted last night to see if you were still busy and asked if you'd drop in. You ignored it. Mark texted shortly after to see if you wanted dinner. You replied a no thanks and ignored his next message, not bothering to even open it. Jack texted you a good moring and a kissy face today. Again you ignored it. Shortly after he asked if you were ok. You didnt open the message, just read it from the notification bar.

  You open your phone and look at the screen, another text from Mark.

Mark: Got waffles going over here. You should swing by.

You stare at the message. Your gut feeling hollow. You arent ready.

You: sorry, cant.

  It stung to send a message like that to him. He didnt do anything to you, and you know he'd respond back a why and million reasons why you should change your mind, but you cant find it in you to tell him that he is harboring the source of your discomfort.

Mark: please?

Mark: its been days since we hung out.

Mark: i mean /really/ hung out

  You swallow back the urge to cry. You miss Mark. You miss his bouncy carefree spirit and his way about making things fun. But you also wanted nothing more than to be alone...

You: sorry...

  You cant bring yourself to say anymore. You toss the phone away before it can break your heart with another incoming message, opting to distract yourself on youtube.

  It turns out to be a failed plan, because you start off good, watching parkour videos to ease your mind, but your Autoplay has a different idea in mind, loading up you and Jack's dancing video. You jump for the mouse to click away, but the second you hear his voice in the intro, your hand melts away from it.

  You sink back into your chair, bringing your knees to your chest as you watched him ramble on about you and your channel. You glance at yourself, seeing the uncomfortable blush in your cheeks. He edits out the part where you tell him freestyling cant be taught, and it jumps to your sarcastic ass smile, leaving in the wink you gave him and the nudge he returned.

  You wince, already reading comments in your head as you watch the two of you dance to the first song. Jack's eyes literally never leave you as your hips sway back and forth to the beat. The second song is by far the worst, watching the two of you constantly miming at one another to a dance song. He left in the part where you stroked his face and he took hold of yours, causing your stomach to do flutters and flips as you hear him call you beautiful and laugh along with you. The third song wasnt terrible, but you didnt realise that while you watched him Thiller dance you bit your lip and giggled like a schoolgirl. All Yours came on next, and it seems that Jack edited out the beginning of the song, showing him shuffle and sway his shoulders during the middle of the song. Your heart stopped when the last song began to play. He left it in? You thought he was bluffing..  

  You watch as he closed the gap between you, directing your arms around his neck and placing his hands on your waist. You lean in toward the screen slightly, watching your lips move but no voice come with it around the song. You suddenly wonder if anyone in his fanbase can read lips. The video suddenly ends. No outro was added, the screen just fades to black. You wonder why he didnt add an outro later.

  You cant escape the curiousity as it crawls over you as you scroll down into the videos comments. You know you'll regret it, but you cant stop yourself.

'Yup, they have a thing guys. Confirmed at 5:32' You click on the time and the video rewinds back to the moment in the second song where Jack mimes out the part of the chorus where Akon says "I wanna get with you." You scroll on.

'Woooow Jack, thats a whole lot of eye rape at 3:19... o.o' you click that time and the video fast loads to the part in M3 & U where you swung your hips in a circle, eliciting a stare from Jack.

'YOOOOOO GUYS, THE END THOOOUUGHHH :')' You didnt need reminding as to what that part was.

"9:52 I wonder what they're saying?" This comment had several replies. You swallow as you click to open them.
    -'Me too!'
    - 'I saw that too! I tried so hard to read their lips but I cant Lol'
    -'I know! I'm so curious!'
    -'Jack asked her to send noods xD'
    -'Didya see how his eyes never leave hers though? They were talking about something important!'
   -'I see how hes whispering sweet nothings to someone other than meeee 😭'
   -'I vow I will figure it out if its the last thing I do! Unless I get called for dinner. Then fuck that lol!'

  You dont really know what you were expecting, but this made you feel a bit better, knowing that no one could piece together what the two of you were conversing about.

  You quickly close out of youtube, promising yourself you wont reopen it untill you upload tomorrow's video, which you still dont have a plan for. Today all you did was upload a compilation of your greatest fails titled Watch Me F#@! Up Repeatedly. You have been gathering fuck up clips for weeks, so you figure now would be a good time to use them, considering how unmotivated you feel. You had already checked the comments on that video, finding lots of laughs and apologies for said laughter. A few scarce comments asked about Jack, but not like the comments on yesterdays video... Maybe you just needed to give them a bit to realise they have a new video to add their questions to.

    You lay your head on your desk, body-wide tiredness seeming to soak into your muscles. You lift your head to look at the wallmount clock you were gifted from your mom. Only 5:13? It seems as though you woke up millenia ago, when really you woke up around Noon, rolled out of bed and have done nothing of particular interest since.

  Your eyes land on your phone in the heaps of blankets on your bed. You bite your lip and lean over to grab it again, dismissing the messages from Mark before opening your music and linking your phone to your speakers.

  You close your eyes as Ivy (Doomsday) by The Amity Affliction began to flow your speakers. You mouth along to the lyrics.

"I will cover you like Ivy, and choke out all the light.
Baby I could be your Doomsday, let you know we'll be alright.
Cause I've got Heaven in my veins, but heaven doesnt mend the pain..." You inhale softly, knowing the next lines to come were exactly what you want to scream at the world.

"I could be your Doomsday!~
I could be your worst ever nightmare~" the voice screams from your speakers as you mouth along, wanting so bad to scream along with him. How can a song perfectly describe what Jack makes you feel, yet not so much mention a word of a similar situation? You shake your head, allowing the song to play out in its entirity before powering the speakers down and crawling back into bed.

  It surprises you how a few simple emotions can make your brain and body want to power down. Like a killswitch in your brain, A self destruct button, something, is activated the instant you feel anything, and your whole body acts as though theres some kind of system overload. Sitting this still for hours on end made you feel even more alien than falling for Jack...

Perhaps you should take up reading again..