Torn

Chapter Fourteen

**Not Edited**

Charlotte POV

The first thing I did when I got inside was look at the calender. If Dean was right and my heat was coming around soon that would explain my jumping all over Mason and Dean. Normally I would never do anything like that.

I checked and it was in a week. I slumped against the counter. What the hell was I going to do for that? Last time Mason was willing to help me out, mainly because it was my first but now I think I could stand to be in public. I don't know. I had never done any of this before, I didn't even remember most of my last time in heat.

I went over to the sofa and laid down on it. I was tired and didn't want to deal with Mason and his bitchy moods so I guess I'll sleep down here again. It's ridiculous how many nights that boy is keeping me out of my own bed because of his moods.

I was just laying there and my mind started to wander. I remember the first time Mason ever tried to start something between us.

I had been going out with an artsy wolf from another pack who lost his mate years before. He was older than me but it seemed to me that we spoke the same language where everyone else spoke gibberish. Slowly but surely I began to fall for him. Mason panicked and he came on to me. Just like that, the one other wolf was history. I loved Mason since forever and I would gladly hand over the world for just one real chance with him. We had tried being together in a boyfriend-girlfriend way but it didn't work. In the early days of our 'relationship' his roaming eyes met the attention of another girly wolf and just like that, I was old news. It hurt so much; I thought I wanted to die. But it was just how Mason was. He was born to be a player and he hasn't for one minute betrayed his nature.

Things were never the same after that. How could they be? But we still managed to be friends, based on the fact that I would wither away to nothing without him. He was necessary to me. Everything was temporary. Everything besides him. So we persevered. But the second time he did that, I was much more wary. I wasn't falling for the guy but I was seriously considering making him my first, since I'd never been intimate with anyone before that. One night Mason convinced me to get drunk and I told him about my plans to get that other wolf in my bed. Just like before, Mason panicked.

He was such a possessive jerk, wanting to keep me in a glass cage while he screwed his way through America. It was unbelievable.

I resisted his attempts to take me away from the guy but his charm eventually got to me. How could it not? I was just one big vulnerable spot when it came to Mason. I didn't stand a chance. Just like before though, he quickly 'let me down easy' and found himself a slut to share his bed with. Heartbreak and than everything goes back to normal. Our friendship wasn't like other ones. We had tried to make something work but Mason was just not meant for commitment.

He could never be what I wanted him to be.

He kinda knew that I wanted more (Even as I fell for his charms, I tried to seem as unaffected as possible in the name of self preservation. Mason had no idea how badly I wanted him) but he was just completely unable to give it to me. So we remained at a stalemate. Never giving in but never walking away.

It might hurt like a bitch when he smelled like other women or when he talked about his dates but I couldn't walk away from him. I just kept coming for more.

So it was completely unfair that when I had a date or was involved with someone who I might just end up with, Mason comes out with his seduction guns blazing. I hated it. He was a protective father, brother, possessive husband, and hostile dog all rolled up into one. He would never let me get close to anyone that I just might spend the rest of my life with. So he can go and find himself a girl that can handle him and his moods and they'll get married. I'll be left behind while they're all happy and having pups. The bright side is that just maybe Mason would let me date. But of course, it's no guarantee.