A TIME TO HEAL

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

I stayed in Akin's house and lived with both he and PJ for a while. I was never going back to my house. I was done with that phase of my life, and I needed a fresh start. I sat on the chair in the room I occupied in Akin's penthouse and penned a resignation letter to my boss. I was done at the firm too, I needed to stay away from any sort of bad energy or toxic environment. I didn't bother adding in the letter that Gwyneth threatened me several times. I hoped she got my position, that could add a little light to her heart. I signed my name as I finished the letter. I was going to have it delivered to the office later.

I went to the kitchen when my tummy rumbled, it was almost one in the afternoon and I had not eaten breakfast yet. I saw PJ on the couch on my way to the kitchen. I got a slice of bread from the loaf and popped it in a toaster, then got milk from the refrigerator and poured it halfway into a glass. I carried my meal in a tray to the living room and sat on the white, leather sofa. PJ dropped the newspaper he was reading and came over to drop a kiss on my forehead.

"Sunshine," he said.

That was what he called me, maybe he was hoping that I'd stop looking depressed and actually start smiling. He went back to his seat and continued with the newspaper.

"PJ," I greeted.

I called him by the name Akin called him. After seeing them together, I knew why it was so easy for Akin to go extra length to get him back. Their love was so pure. I didn't envy it though. Those days were over, and I just wanted peace; not love, not a relationship, just peace.

I went back to seeing my therapist. Our last session was helpful. It had been all about finding joy within. It was a topic she'd touched when I got out from the hospital after the eating disorder episode, but she said she felt like she needed to remind me about it again. I took a bite of my toast and chewed. I was trying my best not to fall back into my old ways that involved binge eating to distract myself from my emotions.

Kelvin didn't call or come around to see me after the last time. I wasn't too concerned. If our love was meant to be, we would find our way back together. There was no rush. I took a sip of the milk and took another bite of the toast. I thought about Seye, I missed her dearly. I had only been with Akin for few days but I missed my old life, and the times I spent with her. Seye knew about the Alex situation, and she texted me the other day that she was advising Kelvin to take legal actions against Alex for breaking into his home. I didn't have an opinion on it. She was his ex-girlfriend, he could do whatever.

PJ folded the newspaper and dropped it on the table as he stood. "I need to get somethings around. Will you be okay on your own?"

"Yes," I answered.

I picked the newspaper when he went out and read the headline, it was about the declining economy. I saw why it was important to find peace within one's self, because it was hard to find it in something or someone else. The whole world itself was in such a terrible state. I thought frequently of my parents and hoped they found peace. Dead or alive, we all needed it. I dropped the newspaper back on the table, it held no good news. I walked sluggishly to the kitchen and dropped the plate and cup in the sink.

I went back to my room and read my resignation letter again. When I was satisfied with it, I went to the bed and got under the covers. I slept, and when I heard a knock at the door later, I opened my eyes.

"Come in," I called out.

Akin walked in and sat on the bed. "Hey. I'm going to be traveling out of the country in few days. I need to know if you'll prefer staying here or rather go along with me."

I sat upright. "I'd like to go with you. I need to experience new things," I said.

"Alright. I thought you might say so. Do I have to tell Kelvin about this?"

"No."

"Okay."

"Is PJ coming with us?"

"He is."

I was excited about that, his presence was usually soothing.

"Do you need anything?" Akin asked.

"Don't worry about that, I'll go with PJ to my house to get the things I need."

Akin stood from the bed and smiled at me before going out of the door.

THERE WAS something different that came with being in a foreign country. It could be similar to where you came from but some differences just intrigued you. We were all in Ghana and while Akin was out of the house, I was with PJ. There were so many flowers around the building we were staying in and the fragrance enticed me from the window of my bedroom.

I wore my slippers and walked out of the house. I plucked a flower of rose as I went around the flower hedges. I plucked a petal off the flower and saw it transform, it was different now; smaller. My life was basically the flower, I'd lost something I thought I had and my life transformed.

I thought about Kelvin often, it wasn't easy to have someone with you for so long and suddenly lose them. I was too used to him not to think about him at all, although I tried. PJ joined me and we strolled around the garden.

"This is my dream," he said.

"Strolling?" I asked clueless.

"No, being a full house husband."

I looked at him. He was obviously trying to make me laugh by all means. "You're kidding, right?" I asked.

"I'm actually very serious," he replied.

"Why?"

"I like it."

"That's it?"

"Yea."

Did that really count as a dream. Maybe that was his way of finding peace.

"I was made to love and nurture. I just want to take care of something and the home is the primary place that happens," he said.

I understood better as he further explained. Everyone was weird in their own unique way, that was his. We went back into the house. Akin came home in the evening and met PJ and I in the living room watching cartoon. He kissed me on the forehead before sitting with PJ, they shared a kiss and I focused on the TV.

"We're going to be leaving next week," Akin said.

"I'm staying here," I replied.

"Why?" he asked.

"To start a new journey. There is no one waiting for me at home anyway."

"Kelvin, Seye, PJ and I," he counted.

"I could visit later on. I need a fresh start."

The thought of starting over excited me. I wanted a new life for myself, different than the old one I was used to.

"We'll support your decision. We only want you to be happy, Fatimah. If this is what you really want, we're here for you," PJ said.

"Thanks. I love you both."

Akin looked from me to PJ before nodding. I went to them and we shared a group hug. PJ tickled me and I slapped his hand away before bursting into uncontrollable laughter, they joined in and we looked at each other with love.